Love is Patient, Love is Kind
by PrimeEmily135
Summary: Shockwave is trying to comprehend and adapt to emotions. As he struggles with that he must also deal with tensions that arise as secrets are revealed. Will he be able to keep his secrets from Scourge? Or will his guilt break them apart? Third book in the "Left for Dead" series, sequel to "Logical to be Illogical".
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So this chapter is an early Birthday present to kayleesullivan2000! If she hadn't asked me to get this out for her I wouldn't have posted it until near December. So Happy Birthday Kaylee! **

**I do not own Transformers Prime, but I do own my OC Scourge. **

**You know though? I don't think of Scourge as an OC really anymore. She has become so integrated with Shockwave in my mind that sometimes I forget that she isn't really cannon. Is that weird? I don't know, and I really don't care. ;) Enjoy peoples!**

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The laboratory, enclosed in the earthen walls of a moist cave, was quiet… Until Scourge came.

Shockwave sighed heavily, trying to keep patient with her. Her greetings always reverberated around the walls, sometimes making his helm ache painfully, but they were so cheery and excited that he hadn't the spark to reprimand her for them. His disappointment in her untimely arrival increased when he felt her thin arms wrap around him from behind, embracing him in a frustrating fashion that he could not return. "Hello Scourge." He answered her greeting calmly, prying her away from him so he could continue his work. This action provoked an unsatisfied huff from her, but otherwise she said nothing in agitation.

"So..what's up?"

He sighed again, setting aside some of his data charts for later review as he cleaned up the lab. Really, she had the worst timing sometimes. He was cleaning up to leave. She should have just waited for him to return to the Nemesis to have this routine conversation. Ever since he had subjected himself to her teachings of emotion she had insisted on two things. One: to always answer her question of "What's up?", and Two:…well, that part would come later.

"You merely need to tilt your helm to see what is up." He answered the same every time, hoping to break her of the question in need of rephrasing. It really didn't mean what she intended it to, and he intended to make her see that it didn't. _She should say: what are you up to? Not: What's up…_ he shrugged his shoulders, almost feeling her annoyed glare on his back. "But if you are referring to my current activities I believe the response you are looking for is: nothing much." He continued to shut down the computers that would not be needed to keep the embryos alive, readying for his departure. "I am afraid you have caught me in a time that I cannot spend with you Scourge. I am just about to retrieve some supplies from Knock Out."

"Aw, you could have told me that. I could have brought them to you." She slumped against one of the gestation chambers dejectedly, crossing her arms and looking down at the floor. Shockwave paused, glancing at her sideways.

"Well…if this emotional thing doesn't work out for _me_ it seems that I can still make a logical being out of _you_." He was actually surprised to hear her suggest something that actually made _sense_ to him. It seemed like she shocked herself as well. Her expression changed from one of confusion to that of smugness.

"Well, I can't help it that _I_ adapt quicker than _you_ can."

"No, I suppose you cannot." His serious tone must not have been taken well in contrast to her humorous manner. She suddenly went quiet, and when he glanced at her she seemed to be sad. "Scourge-"

She rolled her optics, shaking her helm. She was upset. _He_ had upset her. "It's okay…" she vented. "I just forget that you don't have a sense of humor sometimes..."

He didn't know how to reply to that statement. He mentally berated himself for upsetting her, _again_! It happened every time they were in the same room together! He tried so hard not to, but it was impossible. Several times she had called him insensitive and stormed away and he still didn't know what it was that displeased her! It was unsettling. He just couldn't figure it out. "I am sorry, Scourge." He muttered for what felt like the millionth time. He was never going to get this right.

She laughed, a sharp sound, not the normal giggle she had when she was nervous but the one she made when she was irritated. "I said _its okay_. Really, it's my fault, not yours." She pushed herself off of the gestation chamber with a soft huff, crossing the room to stand by his side. "I know you try your best to understand me.. it's just…" she sighed. "Nevermind."

Shockwave knew better than to assume that would be the end of this conversation. She would probably stew on it all day until she finally revealed what was truly on her mind, but he didn't have all day to wait around. "I will be back shortly Scourge, we can talk then." he said quietly, hoping to sooth some of her raging emotions so he wouldn't have so many to deal with when he got back.

He started to call for a groundbridge, but stopped when he heard her playful tone of sternness. "Aren't you forgetting something Shockwave?" She asked, raising an optic ridge at him. She tapped her cheek with one of her small fingers, her gaze almost daring him to refuse her request. _Ah yes, the second part of her demands…_ he mentally sighed, but appeared at her side once more and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "That's better." She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

"I do not see the reason why I must do this every time I depart from your company. Is not once in a while sufficient?" he asked, wanting to pull away and go about his work but having already learned better he stayed right put.

"It's a good habit for a.._couple_.. to make." She insisted, almost to herself more than to him. She looked like she was thinking deeply, about what he could never be sure. He doubted even a cortical psychic patch could reveal her true thoughts…

Snapping out of her stupor, she gave him another small smile and stood up on the tips of her feet so that her lips touched briefly over his own. It was warm, he noted, and soft. "I love you…" she laughed quietly and shook her helm as if in disbelief. He could understand why. Why in the universe she would _want_ to love him was beyond his comprehension. She waited, her arms still wrapped around his shoulders, expectantly. "Do you have anything else to say?"

He shook his helm. "No. I do not think I do." Honestly, what did she want him to say? He had the hardest time trying to figure her out. More than once he had considered asking her for an "Instruction manual to Scourge", but had decided against it. It _did_ occur to him that he should at least try to understand the femme himself. He did swear to protect her, take care of her, and to provide for her. She was the closest thing he had ever had to a friend. And she called herself his lover.. that was more than he could ever have asked for. But he didn't know how to say that.

Her shoulders slumped in disappointment. _Obviously that was not the answer she was hoping for_. He noted.

"Alright, get out of here then." she pushed him away with a servo, not harshly or with true effort. It was a playful gesture that he had come to understand was her way of dismissal. "Get back here quickly though!" she called after him as he walked down the tunnel to the decided bridging location.

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Scourge watched him leave with a sinking feeling in her spark. "_No, I don't think so?!_" she mimicked his response with a frustrated yell as soon as she was sure he was out of hearing range. _How could he not pick up on that hint? How could he not pick up on all the _silly-stupid-blunt_ hints that I've been dropping?! _She sat down on the elevated platform that served as the main hub of the cavern, feeling absolutely defeated. They had been "dating" (if it could even be called that) for nearly a month now and he had never once said that he loved her.

"I mean, I get it that he's still new to all this but you'd think he'd pick something like that up pretty fast!" she growled at herself, burying her face in her servos with a scream! "How can a mech be so _stinkin smart_ and still be so _dumb_?!" she was beginning to wonder if agreeing to teach him to be a normal mech was such a good idea. One month. That was how long she had been working, trying to get him to see something from a view other than logic. And all she had managed to do is get him to correct her grammar every chance he got.

She whimpered pathetically in helplessness. "This is impossible…"

_Can you be patient with me?_ He had asked. She had answered yes right away, never giving it a thought that maybe she _didn't_ have the patience to deal with his thick headedness. _I will not always know what to do. I do not want you to believe that I am intentionally trying your emotions. You will have to tell me when I do something that you do not like. _He had been very pointed about the fact that he wanted her to correct him on things he did wrong in their "relationship" but the things he did wrong weren't _wrong_ per say. He just needed to figure some things out for himself. And unfortunately, she couldn't just tell him to love her. That was something he would have to figure out on his own.

"Patience is a virtue…" she reminded herself, glancing around the lonely room in boredom. Shockwave probably wouldn't be back for a couple earth hours… "Patience…"

* * *

Shockwave took inventory of the supplies he was being given with care. It seemed that everything was in order. He called for some vehicons to help him with transporting, and waited patiently for them to arrive to give them further instructions. It wasn't until after they left that Knock Out finally spoke up, holding him back before he could leave.

"Shockwave, a moment please?"

He glanced back at the doctor, then to the servo holding him stationary. Knock Out seemed to get the hint and quickly retracted his servo. "What is it you need doctor? I am a little pressed for time." Not a lie entirely. Scourge had asked him to get back quickly, and he was sure that sitting around in that cave was not going to help her mood any.

"I'll get right to the point." He assured, crossing his arms over his chassis with a critical stare. "I don't like how much time Scourge has been spending with you lately."

Shockwave stilled momentarily, processing the subject carefully. Could it be that the doctor did not know of their current situation? It seemed unlikely. Scourge often spoke of anything and everything that was on her mind. It must have come up at some point between her and her brother that they were in the experimental stages of a relationship. But if Knock Out had been told, why would he be bringing it up like this? "Scourge has insisted that in the current stage of our relationship that more contact is required. She visits me in hopes to strengthen our bond to each other. It was not my proposal, but if it truly bothers you I will bring it up in a discussion with her."

"Wait-_what?!_" the red mech's optics grew in size until it wasn't physically possible to grow any bigger. "You guys are _what_?"

"I believe the common phrase would be: We are dating." He answered, a little confused at the mech's outburst. Surely this would be a good thing. Didn't he want his sister to be safe? To have someone that would protect her from predators like Starscream?

"No. _No_! You are _not_ dating my _sister_!" Knock Out snapped, his red optic set ablaze with anger. And…an emotion that ran much deeper. His voice turned from a loud shout to a quiet hiss, his gaze never losing its intensity. "You stay away from my sister.. You hear me? _You stay away from her_."

"I…do not understand your objection to this."

"Hasn't she been hurt enough already?" Knock Out seethed, standing up to him in a way that was actually almost intimidating. "That's all you're going to do is hurt her. Whether you know it or not that's all you're doing!"

"I have never harmed her!" he objected, feeling himself slowly coming to anger. It was one of the more simplistic emotions and he had learned it fast. "I would never strike or abuse her. You have no proof of your theory!"

The doctor laughed, a sound that was not joyful or sarcastic. It was disbelief and frustration. "You are so-so frustratingly ignorant to your actions! Shockwave you have no positive emotions!" he said exasperatedly, pointing at him in accusation. "You're lack of feeling is what is hurting her! She spends hours a day with you and when she comes back to me she comes back in tears because of some insensible thing you said. You don't understand her. You _can't_ understand her, and that's why you need to stay away from her. It's for her own good!"

"I am attempting to understand her. She is teaching me how."

"She shouldn't _have_ to teach you how!" Knock Out nearly screamed. "Shockwave, she shouldn't have to teach you how to _care_."

Shockwave narrowed his optic at him, taking a step closer and nearly growling at him. "I care." He watched the doctor's expression change from anger to fear. "If I didn't _care_ Starscream would still be roaming the halls of this ship looking for a chance to abuse your sister both physically and mentally. I know that I make mistakes around Scourge, and I know it causes her to cry. And it _tears me apart_." He moved out of the mech's personal space and stated again what he wished to get through to him. "I care about her."

"Then stop seeing her." he implored, almost desperately. "You are not good enough for her. If you were she wouldn't have to teach you how to feel and act around her! It's breaking her spark Shockwave! She may trust you to hold her life in the palm of your servo, but I do not. Stay away from her!" with that said Knock Out left, leaving no illusion that the subject was up for debate any further.

Shockwave looked at where the doctor had disappeared, his spark beating slowly, numbly. He had not considered the possibility that Knock Out would disapprove of Scourge's choice in a potential sparkmate. But now that he thought about it, he realized that in the beginning of it all he should have gone to him in the first place to ask permission to court his sister. That was how he was raised believing. You have to get the approval of the closest mech relative of the femme before courting her. That was what he was taught. But in the middle of everything, he had forgotten to do that. And now Knock Out had revealed that he didn't give his consent to the two of them…

And that meant that he should back off and stop seeing Scourge...

The problem was: he didn't want to.

He didn't know what to do…

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**Leave a Review and have an awesome summer! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews guys! I really do enjoy the support. :) the next chapter might take a little while for me to write, I'm a little busy and low on writing muse, but I will have it out as soon as I can. In the mean time, enjoy this chapter :)**

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When the Vehicons dropped off the cargo, Scourge found it a little strange that Shockwave was not with them. She tried to reason that he may have needed to do more than he had let on, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened to make him late. Of course if she said to him that he was late he would probably respond by saying that he never gave her an exact time of arrival and therefore was not late. He was pretty good at making excuses like that.

She sighed sharply, trying to not worry about it. Swinging her legs back and forth beneath the chair she sat on, she tried to focus on something else. Predaking was becoming more and more curious about his creation recently. He had started asking questions about his conception, and for a brief moment she thought that she might actually have to tell him about the "birds and the bees" as humans called it. Luckily, before that could happen, she remembered that he was bred in the laboratory back on Cybertron. She explained a little about the process in as much detail as she could, but she didn't know much about it herself.

Unfortunately, it did little to curb his curiosity. So she suggested that he do a little research using the ship's computers, or ask Shockwave. He was glad for the suggestions, but for some reason he seemed a little bit off when he left her alone. That was when she decided to come down to visit Shockwave.

"Any time now would be nice…" she muttered, wishing he'd just come back already. She had been waiting for at least four earth hours now. _Maybe something did happen_- she started to think, but was happily interrupted by her mech's arrival. "Well, it's about time!" she laughed, hopping down from her chair with a smile.

Her smile faded slowly when he did not even acknowledge her presence. He walked past her, expression unreadable and mask tightly shut. His optic didn't even flinch in her direction.

"Shockwave? What-what's wrong?" her spark beat quickened fearfully, tears threatening to sting her optics. He didn't respond. He didn't move to look at her. He just muttered something about rearranging the crates that had been delivered, going about his work without a smidgen of interest in her. "Shockwave, what happened?"

Still, he didn't even glance at her.

"The energon crates need to be stored to take up the least amount of space." He said quietly in exasperation, moving the large crates accordingly. "Incompetent Vehicons." Scourge gaped at him, dumbfounded and torn apart. He was ignoring her, blatantly. On _purpose_! The revelation finally caused her shock filled tears to fall down her cheeks._ Why was he ignoring her? Did I say something before he left? Is this my fault? _

She shook her helm, her throat constricting with sobs. He wouldn't ignore her so obviously unless there was a logical reason behind it. "Sh-Shockwave?" her voice cracked, and still nothing. Her pain was disregarded, her control over herself falling apart. Why is he doing this? What did I do?! She shivered, clenching her servos at her sides. "Shockwave, slag it! _Look at me_!" the desperation in her voice was unbelievable, it surprised even herself, but she finally got him to flinch in her direction. Finally, he acknowledged her presence.

He glanced at her fleetingly before turning away again. Only then did she notice his skittish movements and tense frame. When he breathed it was quick and sharp, nervous. "I..can't."

"Why?" she watched him lay his servo on his operation table, almost as if to steady himself. "What is wrong?" he was silent. Having had enough of him being so unresponsive, she picked up a rock and threw it at the back of his helm. It made contact with a solid clunk, and he turned around in surprise at her act of violence. "Scrap you Shockwave, tell me what's wrong!"

For a moment, she thought he would just turn around and ignore her again (she had another rock just in case), but he made a quick survey of the room and stepped towards her. He reached out towards her with a servo awkwardly, but quickly pulled it back. "Scourge, I assure you that it does not affect you..directly."

She glared at him through her tears. "It's _affecting_ me Shockwave. That I can _assure_ _you_."

He considered that, his optic unfocused in deep thought. She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting miserably for him to finally come to a conclusion. His need to over think everything was one of the things she liked most and least about him. Sometimes it was nice, but times like this it was his worst quality. When he locked his gaze with hers she knew that something was really bothering him. He never looked so conflicted. And she could almost swear that there was coolant gathering behind the rim of his optic. "Scourge, I am quite busy. You should leave…" she gaped at him, his blunt wish for her to leave making her tears continue with a renewed vigor. "-But I will speak with you later." He said quickly, grasping her shoulders firmly. Unmasking his face, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

_Oh, pit no!_ She grabbed his arm before he could get away, pulling her back to him. She was sick of his stalling. She pointed at him sternly, nearly growling at him. "You don't kiss me." She hissed, her servo fisted around one of his audio receptors mercilessly to keep him still. "You _never_ kiss me unless I tell you to. If you wanted to fool me, let me just say, that was your fatal flaw." He seemed to realize this and he looked down at the ground like a sparkling caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. "Now you are either going to tell me what is going on now, or I swear I will torture the information out of you! Because I am about _this_ close to losing it right now!" she demonstrated with a very small space between her finger and thumb.

He seemed wary of her threat, but not at all frightened. "There is nothing you could do to me that would make me speak."

She narrowed her optics at him, letting him go. "I know that." She snapped defensively, trying to hide the fact that she had forgotten about his near perfect ability to remain silent during interrogation. Glancing at the gestation chambers an idea formed in her mind. She knelt down and scooped up a pile of dirt in her servo. Storming over to the nearest tank, she climbed up the stairs to the observation and testing platform over the top. Opening the injection panel she held the dirt over the golden liquid, giving him a warning look. "If you don't tell me what is going on I will compromise this tank."

He looked at her suspiciously, remaining where he was. "You would not compromise the life of one of our creations." He said simply.

"You are forcing me to." she tilted her servo slightly, just enough to make it look like something would fall into the tank. It didn't take long for him to crack.

"Stop!"

If she weren't so emotionally broken inside she might have smirked at her victory. She moved her servo back, but not too far. "Are you _trying_ to push me away Shockwave?" it was a question she didn't expect him to answer, but he did.

"Yes."

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The look in her optics was almost enough to break him. He wanted to tell her that it was not his wish, but that of her brother's. But he couldn't. This "break up" had to be quick and clean, with no consequences. She could hate him all she wanted after this, but he couldn't allow her to be angry with her only relative in the Decepticon ranks. If he couldn't protect her she would need her brother. But then again, her brother hadn't been able to protect her from Starscream.

"It is for the best, Scourge." He tried to reason with her, but it was apparent that her emotions were compromised. She was on the verge of forsaking sanity it seemed like. "Please, come down from there and do not threaten to harm those who are not conscious to defend themselves." He didn't think that she would ever try to harm one of their creations but she was desperate, like a caged animal. "Violence will not solve anything."

"And what problem has arose that ignoring me will solve?" she demanded, not moving from her place.

Deciding to be vague, he told her a half truth. "Complications have arisen that threaten to compromise our… relationship. In this case it would be best if we.. forsake it." _And never see each other again._ He didn't know if he could take seeing her on a daily basis knowing that he had destroyed the best friendship he had ever had, and that he had hurt her. But this was the only thing to do, the only thing he could do! Knock Out had forbid him from courting Scourge, and although they had only recently made an effort to make things work between them, it was painful to let her go.

"You're breaking up with me…" it wasn't a question, it was a statement. It was almost like she had expected it to happen. _Was I really that hopeless to her?_ He wondered exactly how long she had known this would happen.

"Ye-." He choked, unable to force the word out. He didn't want to, and it was bothering him that he had to. "We-we must." He said, almost to cement it to himself. They had to. It was Knock Out's wish. "We cannot be… it is not.. approved of."

"Approved of…"

He stilled, too late to take back the statement that had brought her realization.

"Knock Out put you up to this?"

_Scrap_…

Scourge was almost immediately at his side. She was angry. Terrifyingly angry. He backed away from her as she neared, fearing that she might try to strike him. "You told him about us and he told you to _break up_ with me?"

"Scourge, please do not be upset with-"

"I _will_ be upset!" she cut him off, storming away. "You told Knock Out that- and he-" she screamed, not looking back at him as she left.

Shockwave stood numbly where she left him. _Don't be upset with me…_ She was angry with him. He knew that it would be hard to sever ties with her, but he didn't expect her to be so upset. _Please…_ he begged, wishing that he could call after her, wanting to bring her back and tell her not to leave. He didn't want it to end like this. He may not have had a real grasp on emotions yet, but he knew what he was feeling. _Don't go…_ It was pain.

_Please come back…_

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	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, this actually came out a little faster than I thought it would. Thanks for the reviews guys! They really inspire me a lot :)**

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Knock Out was buffing a scratch out of his forearm when Scourge entered the medical ward. His concentration elsewhere, he didn't even notice her come in. She almost wanted to smack him across the faceplates for being so unobservant, but decided against it. She needed him to be in a good temper if she was to try to talk him into changing his mind about her and Shockwave. As hard as it was, she couldn't just go all crazy femme on him.

That was one thing that she never completely understood. Around her brother she had to bridle her anger and keep her emotions in check, but when she was alone with Shockwave she always blew her top! _Maybe_ it was the situation.._maybe_ it was just bad timing on Shockwave's part.. or maybe it was because Shockwave could handle a verbal beating. In any case, she didn't feel right about it. But she just couldn't control it! It was like she depended on Shockwave's inability to understand her emotions to vent her frustrations of never being understood.

It made her feel badly that she treated the one she loved the most like that, but she had hope that maybe when she finally sorted out her life that they would be able to make things right. That was.. if she could get Knock Out to take back whatever he had said so Shockwave would stop trying to avoid her. She hadn't wanted to leave him in the cave like she had, but she just had to get away before she yelled at him and possibly hurt him. It wasn't his fault really. He had only been trying to do what was right. And she didn't want to punish him for that. So she did the only thing she could do. She ran. And now she was going to do something that she hoped could actually help them.

"Knock Out?" she finally interrupted him when he looked to be just about finished buffing.

"H-hey Sis!" He greeted her with a quick forced smile, like he was trying to hide something. "What's up?"

"Not much." She trailed casually across the room to lean against the medical berth, keeping it between them so she wasn't tempted to punch him in the face. "I just got back from Shockwave's ground laboratory. He was a bit upset when I left.. Would you know anything about?" She watched his wary expression carefully, knowing full well that he knew exactly why the scientist was upset.

Knock Out scratched the back of his helm, a puff of air passing his lips in the form of a sigh. "I uh- I wouldn't know.. sorry about that." He lied, and she frowned. "But I'm sure it has something to do with his experiment. You know that's all he really cares about."

"That's not entirely true." She just managed to keep the venom out of her voice. "Back on Cybertron he cared for me. He helped me survive… kept me sane. And he still does." At that he rolled his optics and she vented quietly. For some reason, she wasn't angry. Just disappointed. "Knock Out, what did you say to him? I know it was you, I just don't know why." Her fingers drummed on the surface of the medical berth, watching his every move. "I thought that you'd be happy that I finally found someone. I-" she shook her helm at him when he scoffed, turning away from her. "-I thought that you'd be happy for _us_."

"Scourge!" his voice rose with his exasperation. And when he looked back at her there was no doubt in his gaze. "There will never be an 'us' between you two. Can't you see that?"

"We were doing just fine before you said something!" she objected, glaring at him.

"I did what I had to… If I let it go on any further it would have hurt you even more when he finally realized that you aren't worth the trouble..."

Scourge's optics widened in shock, her spark sinking. "How could you say that?" Knock Out looked at her confusedly, not even realizing his unintentional offense. And that was just insult to injury. "How could _you_ say that?" her voice cracked slightly as she fought back tears. Only then did her brother finally seem to realize what he had said.

"Scourge, I-I didn't mean it like-"

"You know what?" she cut him off, losing the fight with her raging emotions. "I lived with Shockwave on Cybertron for nearly two stellar-cycles. And the entire time he tried to convince me that I _was_ worth something. He told me that I deserved someone who would take care of me. And even though he didn't return my feeling s at the time he took care of me! He saved me from myself because he thought I _was_ worth the trouble!"

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"Oh, and what _did_ you mean then? That I wasn't worth anything to _him_?" She laughed pointedly, moving around the berth to face him directly. "If that was the case he wouldn't have tried so hard to keep me alive in the first place! If he didn't think I was worth anything he wouldn't have pieced me back together again when I tried to kill myself! Yes Knock Out-" she interrupted him before he could interject. "-I tried to commit suicide. He saved me. And he has always saved me…" taking a deep breath, she tried to calm down. "If he didn't care about me he wouldn't try so hard to make me happy, it wouldn't be logical. That's just the way he is… and I love him."

"You shouldn't. He'll never feel the same way, don't you see that?" he tried to make her see reason, but she wasn't hearing any of it. "It's for the best that you just listen to me and end things between the two of you."

"What gives you the _right_ to say that?"

"I'm your _brother_!"

"I don't _care_!"

Silence enveloped the room like a dark cloud, and the air went still between them. Scourge stared at her brother and he stared right back at her in disbelief. As soon as the words had left her mouth she wished that she could take them back, but she couldn't. It obviously hurt him, but if it made him see just how much Shockwave meant to her, that was something she had to do.

"You can't just tell me who I can and can't have feelings for Knock Out. You're my brother. My friend. But you're not the overlord of my life. I can decide things on my own now. I'm not a sparkling!" she insisted, imploring him with her optics to see her reasoning.

"I'm your protector. I'm the only one you have left!" he shot back.

"I have Shockwave."

"Scourge…" The arrival of a new voice made her whip around, and she couldn't be more happy or frustrated to see the mech standing in the doorway. Shockwave watched the two of them in their debate, his servos clenching helplessly at his sides. His red optic was dim, as if he was tired, and his voice sounded about the same. "You do not have me… Your brother has forbidden it."

Scourge looked between the two of them, her spark sinking. She just couldn't stand that the two mechs that she cared about most in her life were at such odds at each other. Knock Out on one side was the dictator in everything.. and Shockwave was the outsider that he wanted to keep out. She couldn't stand it! She gave her brother a pleading look, desperate for him to change his mind but he didn't. He just stood there with his arms crossed, not even looking in Shockwave's direction.

Looking back to the mech she had worked so hard to keep in her life her gaze hardened. There was no way in Pit that she was letting him go so easily. "I don't care if Unicron is against it! Knock Out, your points are not valid!" That made Shockwave raise his optic at her. She gave him a brief look over her shoulder with a short roll of her optics. "Yes, I really said that. You are rubbing off on me, now let it go." She said a little harshly, but she didn't try to apologize. She was tired of being the person everyone could control. Enough was enough.

Scourge pointed at the scientist, sending Knock Out a glare before waving the mech towards her. Shockwave did as he was bid, and he stayed close by as she addressed her brother. "I don't care if you're not crazy about us being together, but this is ultimately _my_ choice. If Shockwave has a problem with our relationship he can come to me. I don't require for him to get your consent, and I won't care if he never does."

She noticed Shockwave stood a little taller as she defended her rights, almost proudly, but his expression became a little more nervous. Knock Out's death glare might have had something to do with that.

"If you don't see the issue with your relationship it's all the more my responsibility to step in and end it before you get hurt." he growled venomously, stepping up to get between them but she pushed him away and stood beside her mech.

"Every relationship has issues. And they can be worked out. We're working them out!"

"Scourge, you should listen to your brother." Shockwave spoke up quietly, his gaze downcast. "It is in his right to disallow our relationship to continue. As your closest mech relative, he is your first line of defense… And.. it might be for the best. It does seem that the only thing I can successfully achieve is to upset you. Perhaps you should embrace this-" the sudden slap across his face shut him up, and the glare from the very pissed off femme silenced him further. Scourge felt like she could just about rip something apart, she was so angry with Knock Out! It was his fault that this had all started. Unfortunately, she could only vent her frustration on Shockwave. He was the only one who could take it.

"Remove your mask." She ordered, her gaze leaving no room for debate. Shockwave logically did as he was told to avoid any more violent actions from befalling him, but she was pretty sure that he wasn't expecting her to kiss him after hitting him like she had. It wasn't a soft, sweet kiss, like she tried to mostly do. No. She forced her lips against his, crushing theirs together like her life depended on it. In a way, her sanity did depend on him always being with her. Without him… she would be lost.

When she pulled away again Shockwave was left with his mouth hanging open slightly in surprise. He stared at her helplessly, the harsh kiss obviously leaving its print on his mind.

"Just go Shockwave. I'll talk to you later." She dismissed him, feeling a little guilty to have confused him like that, but she was just trying to prove a point. There was no way that Knock Out was going to take him away from her. No way whatsoever.

When Shockwave had successfully exited the medical ward, now turned warzone, Knock Out just about exploded. He ranted, shouting unintelligible words as he stomped around the room. Scourge watched him, waiting for him to calm down enough that she could understand him. His reaction was completely uncalled for. Honestly, she couldn't understand why he was being like this at all.

"Scourge! Are you out of your _fragging mind_?" He asked exasperatedly. His servos waved about wildly as he grasped for anything he could say and finally he spat out what was truly bothering him all this time. "He's not able to feel!" before she could interject he continued, elaborating. "When he was born his parents forced him to undergo a procedure that would wipe all emotion from his mind. _He. Can't. Feel. _It has been permanently taken away from him!"

"What?" suddenly all anger seemed to melt away from her spark, leaving it cold and numb. "What do you mean?"

"They wiped him clean, Scourge. The procedure has only been performed a few times, and it is irreversible. Whatever you think he feels he doesn't. He may try to appease you simply because it is logical to do so. It's all he knows." Knock Out's tone softened when she stumbled back in disbelief, and he carefully led her to the medical berth to steady her.

"Why would someone do that? To their own sparkling…" she couldn't understand it. How could someone be so _cruel_? "But he feels!" she insisted, almost trying to convince herself now more than him. "I know he does…"

"Sis…" he sighed, pulling her into a tight hug. "No subject of the process has ever been able to come back from it. And none have ever wanted to. Shockwave is no different. He will never change…"

She shook her helm, her spark breaking. "I can't believe that Knock Out…" she cried against his chassis, unable to keep it in any longer. "He is everything I have ever needed…"

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Starscream watched as Megatron and his loathed rival, Shockwave, conversed down the hall from him. They were speaking quietly, probably of the Predacon experiment (not that he really cared). But he was still upset to be sent away from the conversation. Ever since the incident with Shockwave and his irksome creature, he had been removed from most environments around the scientist.

And his femme whore…

Starscream huffed, ignoring them for a moment as he recalled his interactions with Scourge. She had screamed so loud, so desperately for her emotionless hero to come save her. He had taken great pleasure in the fact that no matter how much she begged he wouldn't come. The mech had no real use for her, she was only a nuisance. A distraction. But what he didn't understand was why Shockwave had come after him, and why he was _angry_. The mech had had his emotions taken away from him as a sparkling, there was no way that he could get them back… _Unless_…

His attention was drawn away as the medical ward opened up again and Scourge walked out. She paid him little mind, but instead looked past him at the scientist. Starscream looked her up and down, and then glanced at Shockwave. The two of them looked at each other and it was obvious that there was something going on between them. Could it be that the femme was actually changing him somehow? Could the mech actually be learning how to feel after all this time without emotions? He shuddered. If that was the case, it would spell bad news for him. He had barely survived his encounter with the mech and come away with his testicles intact. If Shockwave ever got mad at him again… he might lose them all together.

He grimaced at the memory, glaring at the scientist. He would have to get him back for that. Both of them. He had to get rid of them quickly or face his own termination. Megatron was already giving him those knowing glances that eventually lead to him being cast out or threatened to be offlined. If he didn't do something to get rid of the competition and soon… he could lose his place in the Decepticon ranks.. (again).

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**Starscream's up to no good again.. *shakes head* **

**Leave a Review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so the idea in this chapter was a little last minute and that is why it took so long. But honestly, I'm glad I added it. I think it helps Shockwave's character development a little.. I also apologize if my writing style seems a bit off, I've been kind of distracted lately with work and people and blah blah blah... but anyways, enough with my boring prattle! On with the story! :)**

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Days went by like weeks and the two weeks that he hadn't seen or heard from Scourge felt much longer then they should have. After much mental adjustment Shockwave had come to accept that he might never see her again, but that didn't mean he wasn't disappointed. He had thought that Scourge was against them being apart but by all indications she had given into her brother's wishes…

Shockwave shook his helm, wishing the heaviness in his spark would go away. The feeling had settled there ever since Scourge kissed him and sent him away. He wondered vaguely why she had kissed him so..passionately. _Was it because it might be the last time we saw each other?_ He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind but it kept resurfacing. He didn't want that to be the last time he saw her. In fact, every day since Knock Out had declared their relationship over, he wished that she would come to see him. Never before had he desperately wished to see her. It was consuming. He couldn't stop thinking about her!

"Scourge what have you done to me?" his servos shook as he raised them to cover his masked face. His whole body was trembling and he couldn't stop it. After running a scan of his neural networking system he had traced the problem to a section of his processor that he had long since known was dormant. The issue was it wasn't as undeveloped as it used to be.

The section in question was a receptor that helped to sharpen the senses. Senses that he had not acutely refined yet, and he feared that without his teacher he might never be able to. It was an emotional receptor, used to determine the emotional responses necessary for any situation at hand. He knew that technically it was supposed to be deactivated, but he had not bothered to alert anyone to its sudden awakening simply because he wanted to see what would happen. Unfortunately the action caused him a lot of pain, mental and physical.

Rubbing the aching spot on the back of his helm, he let a small groan escape him. Ever since Scourge stopped seeing him the spot started pulsing agonizingly. It was probably something he should be concerned about, but now that Knock Out had turned against him he didn't trust anyone to look into it.

_Scourge is going to be the death of me_. He realized. When she was near him she caused him confusion and pain. When she was gone he felt even more confusion and twice the amount of pain. He had tried to convince himself that it was not so, but everything pointed to the fact that he had grown emotionally attached to her. He now understood how she felt back on Cybertron when she said she didn't like to be alone. She had been without comfort, drowning in her misery.

And now, so was he.

Shockwave stood up straighter, trying to ignore the pain and get back to work. The silence in his laboratory that he had once so desperately craved felt deathly quiet to him now. He found himself wishing to hear anything. A single word spoken by someone else just to fill the emptiness… Although he had been bothered by her distractions at the time he felt more distracted by her just because he couldn't stop thinking about her. Was she alright? Was she hurt? He would gladly endure a few of her jokes at him and her constant presence just to have the reassurance that she was safe.

"If someone doesn't come down here soon I'm going to start talking to myself." He feared, continuing his reading of the gestation chamber he was working with. In the back of his mind he saw that it was the same one that Scourge had threatened to compromise. And to his surprise and confusion, the thought made him smile. She had been confident in what she was doing. He liked to see her confident. It made him forget all the times he had found her broken and unsure of herself.

Looking down at his datapad, he set it aside on the observation table. He was not getting any work done like this. He was so consumed in his thoughts of Scourge that he had accidentally taken the same reading six times!

With a sigh he turned away from the gestation tank. The readings could wait until his thoughts were in order. Until then he needed to find something that could distract him from his thoughts. But even as he called for a groundbridge back to the Nemesis he knew that there was nothing that could distract him from her. The back of his helm pulsed again and he clenched his optic shut as the pain washed through him again. He was hopelessly crippled without her.

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"Predaking! Don't-st-stop it!"

The sudden shriek made him stop in his tracks, his spark-rate suddenly doubling in speed. Scourge… He peeked through the doorway into Predaking's kennel, observing quietly as the two closest to him played.

Predaking was chasing Scourge around the room, every once in a while pushing her over with his snout. He jumped around in excitement, his head bobbing up and down as his tail wagged. Scourge continued to run and shout as he chased her, her optics bright with mirth and laughter. She dodged as her acclaimed son swiped at her with his large paw, just barely making it out of his reach as she twirled in another direction. Shockwave first felt anxious with concern that Predaking might actually hurt her, but upon further observation he saw that he was not putting enough force behind his playful attacks to harm her. And after another moment of thought he found his worry had been unnecessary. Predaking loved his mother, there was no way that he would ever hurt Scourge.

With that reassuring thought, he stood still and watched them. They seemed happy, and for some unknown reason that made him sad. Scourge didn't ever look so happy around him. Or had she and he just didn't notice it? He didn't think that was the case. She looked so..alive. _Could it be that Knock Out was right?_ His spark sunk with mixed feelings. _Is it best that we be apart?_ He had first thought the medic to be wrong, but seeing this, maybe he was right. Maybe it was only himself who was suffering from the change… Maybe Scourge didn't need him as much as he thought.

An agonizing amount of confusing thoughts tore at his mind, rendering him unresponsive when he was finally noticed.

"Shockwave?" Scourge and Predaking stopped in their play when she turned towards him. She was smiling still, but it had changed. _Why did it change when she saw me? Why must she change around me?_ He didn't answer her call, half expecting her to tell him to leave if he did. She was obviously happier when he wasn't around. "What are you doing here?"

Taking that as his cue to leave, he turned away to avoid a verbal (and quite possibly physical) beating. "Hey, wait!" she called after him and he stopped when her servo wrapped tightly around his own. "Whoa, where are you going?" She pulled him back to face her, wrapping her arms around him snugly. "You just got here."

He looked down at her in surprise, not expecting to have her welcome him in her presence after upsetting her so badly and not seeing her for two weeks. That and also the fact that Knock Out had forbade her from seeing him made him feel the intense need to apologize quickly and leave. This was the chance he needed to say goodbye. The chance that he hadn't had in the last two weeks. "Scourge, I am sorry I upset you. And I am sorry that I am not the mech you deserve. I understand if we never see each other again. I don't want to hurt you anymore." He attempted to pry away from her and to his disappointment she actually let go.

"What?" She looked up at him in confusion and sadness.

"I'm sorry, I should go…"

"Shockwave, I'm not mad at you." Her servo remained clamped around his and he felt her thumb brush over his wrist softly. The sensation sent tingles down his spine and a calm feeling to his mind. When she stepped closer to him again he wrapped an arm around her waist and tucked her helm under his chin. He noted that the pain in his processor was still there, but less intense the closer he got to her.

"Shockwave, I know." She murmured, her fingertips playing across his chassis daintily. It was distracting enough that he almost didn't realize she had said anything at all.

"What is it that you know?" he asked, conscious of the open bay door behind him. He didn't want anyone to see them and possibly report their closeness to Knock Out.

"My brother told me what happened."

He closed his optic in slight frustration. "That is still not enough information for me to deduce an answer to what you know." He said, and he felt her shoulders shake as she giggled. But the sound stopped quickly. _Something is wrong._ He secured his hold on her and glanced at Predaking who was giving him a look of almost..pity? "What did he tell you?"

"He told me what happened to make you like you are… He told me what your parents did to you." Shockwave stiffened at her words and Predaking encircled them both, giving his creator an affectionate nuzzle and a meaningful purr.

"Then you know why it would never work out between us and you wish to terminate our experiment." He concluded, understanding the reasoning. She could not love him knowing that he had undergone such a horrible procedure. It was probably appalling to her. "I understand if you would never wish to see me again."

"Shockwave no!" she pulled away from him, giving him a look of disbelief. "I just want you to know that I understand what happened, and I don't care." Her servos came up to cup his face and he closed his optic. "I still love you, and I want to be with you. There is nothing anyone can say that will make me feel any different."

After a moment of silent debate he took her servos in his own and pulled them away from his face. "How can you be so determined? Why are you so devoted to me?" He couldn't understand it. She had always been so quick to point out that he could learn how to have emotions, and now that she knew the truth she said that she didn't care? "I do not understand Scourge."

"I love you." She said again, smiling at him as Predaking nuzzled him again.

::_We both do._::

"And I know that you have been trying all this time to seem emotional, but if you truly can't I would prefer you to just be yourself." Finding the manual switch with her fingertips, she slid his mask aside and caressed his scarred features. "I fell in love with you for who you were. And although it would be nice for you to be a little emotional, it isn't necessary." Standing on the tips of her feet she pressed her lips against his, softly moving them with his before pulling back.

He shook his helm. "I..just don't understand. Scourge, I _was_ learning how to be emotional. I accessed areas of my processor long dormant to comprehend them because that is what I thought you wanted. You don't want that?"

"Not if it's impossible!" she laughed, but the serious look on his face made her quiet. "It is impossible isn't it?"

"Not as impossible as I had imagined, but it is improbable that I will change much more than I have." He admitted, looking down at the floor. "I suppose, I have been keeping a secret from you." After a short pause he related his tale of why his parents had his emotional processes suspended. How he had wanted to become the best scientist he could be and how he had volunteered for the procedure to help him concentrate on his work. "Not many survive the procedure, and those that do never seem to want to go back to the way they were. That is why no one has found a process of reversing the affects… But I want it reversed. And that is why I was able to access the receptors in my processor. These last few months with the help of your teaching has reawakened my ability to feel anger, frustration, jealousy, and attachment."

With a quiet sigh, he noted Scourge's passive outward appearance begin to give way to excitement. "I do not wish for you to get your hopes up. Your brother has forbidden us to continue this experiment."

"You mean relationship." She pointed out, giving him a sly smile. "Shockwave, I don't care what he says. If you are developing emotions, I want to help in any way that I can." Predaking snorted in agreement and Shockwave felt a.._warm_ sensation in the center of his spark.

::_Why didn't you tell us this before?_::

He shook his helm slightly. "I suppose I did not want to rally false hope when it seemed like everything I did was wrong. I wanted to wait until I stopped..screwing up."

Predaking nodded. ::_Makes sense_.::

"Predaking!" Scourge scolded, giving him a soft glare before turning back to him. "Shockwave, why would you think that everything you do is wrong?"

"Because…you always seem upset. And I can't figure out what the cause of it is."

A look of an epiphany crossed her, and then a look of sadness. "Shockwave, that's not your fault." She assured him, looking at guilt. He still didn't understand her ability to switch in between emotions like that. "I've just been thinking about something a lot lately and… I guess I'm just a little frustrated with how slowly our relationship has been moving. I keep telling myself that every set back we face is one step closer to the final result but I-I just sometimes feel like I'm fighting a lost battle."

Shockwave frowned. "Then I am at fault?"

"No! Well, maybe. You should have told me about what was happening to begin with, maybe then I would have understood better but you aren't at fault." She sighed. "Let's just start over, okay?"

"From how far back?" he was a little alarmed at the suggestion, mortified at having to start back at square one again.

She gave him a small smile, as if she could tell what he was thinking. "From before Knock Out got all in our business. But we need some new rules." She ticked them off on her fingers. "No more secrets. Don't let anyone or anything convince you that we need to change our relationship. And if you feel like I'm not happy with you, tell me! I'd rather know when I'm discouraging you than just get frustrated at you when you're frustrated with me. Does that sound good?"

"It sounds..reasonable." he admitted, proud and glad at her use of logic. Obviously they had issues to overcome, but with her help he hoped that they could make it through them.

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**I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. Spoiler!:: Shockwave isn't going to be able to keep their new rules ;) **

**Leave a review :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! Kind of a short chapter but I have been low on writing juice lately ;p **

**This chapter kind of ties in with the show. The basic idea of the show is followed in my series but I will change some small things and add some stuff too. Enjoy! I'll try to get more out soon.**

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_"The moment our 'Royal Highness' realizes that his army possesses greater might than what currently remains of the Decepticons..."  
"Evolution will give way to revolution…"_

Shockwave played the words through his mind again and again. Logic pointed out that they had done the right thing by destroying the Predacon embryos, but everything else in his body said that it was wrong. There was no real proof that Predaking would have turned against the Decepticons, but the chance was too great to ignore. And wasn't it good that they had misaimed his anger at the Autobots? Wasn't the whole ordeal worth it in the end? Predaking would remain the last of his kind, and the troops were safe from an uprising. He would survive this disappointment, but according to Scourge he had slipped into depression.

_If he is anything like his mother-figure, that will spell disaster for us all._ Considering this, he took a glance over his shoulder at where Scourge sat by Predaking, stroking his helm comfortingly as he slept. He had been sleeping almost the entire time since the incident a day ago, and when he was not sleeping he was crying silently. He wouldn't eat. He wouldn't speak to him … for some reason. _Maybe he is afraid of my judgment on his behavior? _He realized, pieces coming together slowly._ Or he is angry that I did not stay to protect my creations…_

Scourge looked up at him fleetingly as he came closer to the two of them. A look of hurt crossed her optics before she silently turned back to her acclaimed sparkling. "What happened down there Shockwave? He won't tell me…"

He didn't say anything. She had made him promise not to lie to her anymore, but how could he tell her the evil he had done? How could he admit that he was the cause of Predaking's state? That and the fact that Starscream had nearly done him in would obviously upset her. It had upset _him_. Even after the Seeker had provided his logical explanation he was angry for nearly being scrapped. He found that his abhorrence of the mech increased with each interaction that they had.

Realizing that Scourge was staring at him expectantly he was brought back to the matter at present. Did he tell her the truth? Or did he weave the same fabrication they had for Predaking? _Will she understand my reasoning? Will she accept what I have done without retribution? No, she would become angry and hurt. I don't want to hurt her. But she told me not to lie to her!_

"There was an.. _incident_ in my laboratory." He started slowly, leaning against the wall for support and not looking her in the optics as he forced the next words out of his mouth. "The Autobots found the Predacon embryos and destroyed them. Predaking tried to stop them but was unable…" he trailed off there, having nothing else to say after hearing Scourge gasp.

"The Autobots…they killed..?" she was incapable of finishing, her tears streaking down her face. "Did..did any-?"

Shockwave shook his helm. "All embryos in the area were destroyed."

In his mind he berated himself for lying. The truth would have hurt, but maybe not as much as what he just said had. He watched her crumple into crying, sobs that were quieted but not enough. Predaking awoke to the sound and nuzzled his mother affectionately, trilling as he laid his head on her lap.

::_The Autobots will pay for what they have done to our family._::

Shockwave watched them, unable to move. _It wasn't the Autobots… it was us. The very mechs that you both trusted… I caused this pain…_ "I wish…I knew how I could comfort you. But I do not know how…" How long could he keep the truth from them? Scourge had sniffed out that something was wrong within an instant the last time he had withheld information from her. Would she eventually figure out that he hadn't told her everything?

No. She could never know. No matter what, he had to keep this from her. For her own protection.. for her own sanity… Even if it meant sacrificing his own.

Scourge wiped the energon away from her optics, looking up at him. "Tell me it isn't true.." she pleaded and he felt a stab of guilt beat into his central consciousness. It wasn't true.

"It is true. I am sorry." He was sorry…sorry that he had told her a complete and utter lie and assured her of its truth. But mostly, he was sorry that he could not stop her crying. "Scourge-" he didn't know what else he could say. He felt like he had the time she and him were on Cybertron. He felt helpless.

::_Hold her._::

The suggestion came from Predaking but he did as he suggested, knowing full well that his creation was raised with a sense of emotions and proper responses. He knelt down next to the two of them, taking the small femme in his arms and pulling her close. Predaking crawled forward too, draping his large paw over her legs and wrapping himself around the two of them.

::_How could the Autobots have even known where you were? Wasn't the laboratory too far underground for them to track you?_::

Scourge seemed to consider this too and Shockwave stilled momentarily.

"I do not know how they came about the information." Another lie.

"I guess it doesn't really matter now." Scourge spoke up, curling in closer to his chest and closing her optics. She sighed shakily. "What's done is done. The important thing is that we still have each other. We can protect, trust, and love what little family we have." Predaking purred in agreement.

Shockwave's spark went numb.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, short chapter, but I have already written the next and it will be out soon! :)**

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Scourge sulked through the halls dejectedly. No real reason to be feeling down, she just felt bad. Shockwave had assured her that she had no reason for such feelings but she just couldn't help but think that something was _off_. Maybe he was trying harder to prove that he wanted to be with her, maybe he was trying to lift her spirits and distract her from the fact that the Predacons had been extinguished, but he was acting strange. Not strange enough for her to make an issue of it, but he was letting her get away with things that he normally didn't. He always found a way to keep her talking even though she knew that he didn't like constant noise. The conversations (even if they were slightly one-sided) were of anything. But when they strayed to his current business he would quickly change the subject.

Even though the freedom of speech was welcome, she almost wished that he would act normal and ask her to be quiet every once in a while. He was so silent, sometimes she wondered if he was tuning her out. But if that were the case something would have to be wrong. He never deliberately ignored her without a reason. Maybe he was depressed? He did just lose months of work and devotion to the Autobots. He was working again, on a top secret project he couldn't talk about yet, but his spark didn't seem really in it. He was always organized and plugged away at his projects to see them into completion, but he seemed to be putting it off. It was a bit unsettling.

And thus was the reason that she had fallen into a slump. She couldn't understand him on the best of days, and whatever was plaguing him was only making things worse.

She heaved a sigh, watching the door in front of her open to the outside air. It was dark out. The Earth air was chilly and she could see nothing but water for miles. _We must be over the ocean._ She thought, sitting carefully by the edge to watch the sparkling liquid beneath the warship. Some distance away she saw Predaking out flying. He did that often now that he had finally accepted the fact that Shockwave was not making anymore Predacons. He was edgy, and snapped at her when she tried to talk to him. It was just another thing to add to her growing list of worries. Shockwave had told her that he was just going through a normal phase and stage of his maturity, but even he seemed uncertain of his words.

_Why is my family falling apart?_ For a while it seemed that they were doing just fine. Then.. Knock Out butted in and started the downward spiral that had only gotten worse when she tried to fix it. "What am I doing wrong?" she moaned, burying her face in her servos. Somehow she couldn't help but think that this was all somehow her fault. If she had told Knock Out to begin with maybe he wouldn't have made such a big deal about her and Shockwave? And what about Predaking? What had she done to upset him? Maybe by trying to be with him and comfort him she had only been suffocating him?

"Everything I care about turns to scrap." She shook her helm, unable to cry anymore. She had long ago cried her spark out when Shockwave wasn't around. She knew that although he was trying to understand and develop emotion that he still disliked her constant outbursts. And she cried, a lot. So she tried to keep it to herself.

"I don't think it's _you_ who turns everything to scrap." The sudden new voice made her jump to her feet, almost falling over the edge of the warship. Long claws wrapped around her wrist and pulled her to safety, but she was certain that she would have rather fallen overboard. Starscream gave her a twisted smirk, his other servo coming up to caress her scared features. "If you ask me, it's Shockwave that ruins everything… including a certain Predacon project."

"Let me go Starscream." Her voice was quiet and unsteady.

He chuckled, releasing her almost carelessly. "Aren't you curious of the details of how his laboratory was destroyed?"

Scourge winced at the subject, trying vainly to slip past him but he barred her way. "He told me what happened."

"Did he now?" he raised an optic with a shrug. "Well then, since you obviously already know that he himself set up the entire incident I guess my honorable intentions are for naught…" he trailed off, turning his back to her. She could almost sense his devious laughter waiting to be let loose. But she was distracted by his words. _Shockwave?_ He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't kill his own creations like some Frankenstein's monster.

"No. I don't believe you."

Starscream chuckled, his wings adjusting. "I thought you might not." He glanced over his shoulder at her, his smirk becoming just a bit more sinister. "You know? There are no security cameras online up here at this time…" he mocked her, drawing closer to her until she shriveled back in fear. Her spark started pounding in her chest, and she searched desperately for a way out. But she was cornered. The Seeker trapped her between him and the empty drop to the far ocean below. "I suppose the only way I can convince you would be to show you the truth…"

She shook her helm taking one step back, her heel almost slipping over the edge. _No. No, this can't happen again! There has to be a way out! _She screamed when Starscream grasped her wrist and pulled her forward. ::_Predaking!_::

* * *

Starscream made a noise of delight as his spark mingled with hers. His neck craned back in ecstasy as she struggled, trying to pull away from the memories he was pouring into her. Of course some bits he kept to himself, and other bits he tried to manipulate, but in her current state it wouldn't take much to convince her that Shockwave had indeed sentenced his own creations to their deaths.

He heard her scream for Predaking, and he knew that he had little time. The creature had been flying closely to the ship, and if she called for him it wouldn't be long before he showed up. Only this time, he had made sure there was no proof to fault him. Not that he was worried Scourge would say anything. She would be too furious with her oh-so-special scientist to even care that he had merged sparks with hers temporarily.

With the ending of one last memory, Starscream tore away from the femme and marched away before he could change his mind. As much as he would have loved to continue what he was doing, he had to stick to his plan. If all went well, Shockwave wouldn't live past the week.

He laughed to himself. _Hell hath no fury like that of a femme._

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**What is Starscream up to hmm? *Smirk* :)**

**Leave a Review! I will post the next chapter soon :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I just wanted to take a moment to say: thanks for all the support. :) Reviews, Favs, and follows are amazing. Thank you all so much! :)**

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::_Mother? Mother are you okay? Scourge! Speak to me!_::

Predaking circled around her, his helm bent down to inspect her. She was breathing raggedly, and there were scratches on her chassis and wrists. He didn't know what had happened to her. All he had seen was her lying on the ground and sobbing his name, and cursing his father's. Why would she curse father? He poked his head closer to hers, sniffing her uncertainly. She was distressed. Her body trembled and her optics were..

::_Mother, why are your optics red?_:: he had never seen them turn that color before. They were usually a pretty bright blue. The crimson that now stained her optics bathed her in a deadly light, and he didn't like it. ::_Tell me what's wrong!_:: he pleaded, nudging her fearfully.

"He killed them Predaking.. He killed the others…"

He growled, the subject of his fallen little brothers and sisters making his spark hurt. ::_The Autobots will pay for what they have done Scourge, I promise_.:: He cocked his helm to one side, somehow understanding that he was not perceiving what she actually meant. She already knew that the Autobots had destroyed his brethren, why would she be like this now?

"No, Predaking… It wasn't the Autobots."

He jumped back, bouncing on his haunches in confusion. ::_It _was_ them! I saw it happen!_:: He crawled nearer to her again, trying to nudge her and coax her onto her feet. Maybe she needed to go to Shockwave? Maybe he could fix whatever was wrong.

Scourge looked up at him sadly, her red optics flickering back to their original color as tears spilled down her cheeks. "Predaking… It was us. The Decepticons. The very people we trusted! Megatron, Knock Out, Starscream…even Shockwave. Baby, it was Shockwave! He set up the whole thing!" she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck for support as he lifted her to her feet.

::_No, it couldn't have been. Starscream maybe, but not father. He would never do such a thing to us. He cares about us. We are his family. Why would he want to hurt my brothers and sisters?_:: He reasoned, figuring that maybe she had knocked a wire loose somewhere in her processor.

"I saw it. Every bit of it! I saw them planning how to trick you into believing it was the Autobots…"

::_He wouldn't do that. We're his family. He loves us_.:: he insisted, poking her belly with his snout. Usually the action would cheer her up, but she was distraught.

"Does he? Does he _really_?" she questioned, and he remembered that she had her doubts to whether or not her intended mate actually felt emotion towards them. She had told him that he had never once said that he loved them. He said that he would take care of them. No harm would come to them under his watch. But he never said that he loved them. Just with that thought he was brought sudden doubt. "I saw it…"

Predaking looked at her carefully not sure how she could have, but she obviously was convinced. His spark sunk at the thought that his father had betrayed him. Why would he do such a thing? What provocation did he ever have to destroy them?

Suddenly, a growl ripped through his body and he felt anger and hatred boiling in this veins. _How could he betray us?!_ He snarled, and Scourge stumbled away from him. The sounds he made quickly stopped as he turned back to her and he felt remorse for startling her, but he was no less angry than before. Shockwave had tricked him into believing a lie. He had _lied_! ::_He promised that he wouldn't lie anymore, and yet that in itself was a lie. How can we trust him ever again?_:: She seemed to process this and she came to the same conclusion as him. But, she suddenly became calm. Her tears stopped and she stood up slowly.

"We should talk to him. I don't trust everything that St-that I was shown…" she trailed off, her servo ghosting over her chest. Predaking barely caught her fumble in words, but didn't say anything. "Maybe there is more to the story than we see…" she looked unsure of herself and in pain, but she stayed on her feet and lead him back to his kennel. He didn't like the thought of waiting to speak with Shockwave, but since he couldn't fit in most of the Nemesis hallways, waiting was their only option.

* * *

To say that she was shaken was an understatement, as was saying she was upset with Starscream. He had sparkraped her, unafraid of the consequences. It had left her feeling empty and shattered and hopeless. There was no proof that he had done it, and she was so upset with Shockwave that she had forgotten to go to the medical ward to report it before the evidence faded. So, she decided to keep it her secret. Since Shockwave thought it was okay to break his promise, she decided to keep this from him. He didn't need to know how she came by the information about the Predacons, he only needed to know that she had found out.

With a deep vent, she leaned against the wall of Predaking's "Kennel" and slid down it until her aft hit the floor. She slumped forward in exhaustion, watching tiredly as her sparkling curled up in a ball on the floor to wait with her. He had long ago imprinted on her as his mother and had accepted her bond with him. And through that bond she could feel his anger. But he was also sad. He was betrayed… They both were.

_Shockwave, if you don't show up and explain yourself soon I will hunt you down and rip out your spark…_ She swore to herself, noting that he had not answered her message to meet them. _Where could he be_?

* * *

"I Said _No_!" Knock Out nearly screamed and Shockwave winced at the volume, taking a step back from the angry medic. "No, I told you I don't want you _anywhere_ near _my_ _sister_!" he growled, his red optics glowing brightly with hatred.

Shockwave observed him from a short distance, taking in his battle stance. Obviously the mech was willing to fight to protect his family. That was good. But not when he was protecting her from the wrong mech. "I will be with your sister whether you like it or not." He stated plainly, not put off by the mech's words. "She has made it clear to me that I am what she desires and I look to appease that desire to her every craving. Everything she asks of me I will give. I will protect her from those who seek to harm her. And I will do everything in my power to be the mech she wants and needs."

"Don't you get it?" Knock Out looked just about ready to unleash his saw blades. "You'll never be that mech! You are practically useless to her without emotions!"

_Useless_… The word rang out in his processor, causing a stir of pain in his spark. That pain was accompanied by many feelings as well, one of them being the irrepressible urge to finally shut the mech up.

Optic darkening, Shockwave slammed his fist across the mech's chest, successfully thrusting him against the nearest wall. Knock Out shrieked in surprise, trying in vain to squirm out of his hold but he was effectively pinned. "Listen carefully you _fragger_, because I am only going to say this one last time." He growled into the mech's audios, pouring his malice, his anger, his _emotions_ into every word. "I care about Scourge. Nothing you can say or do will tear me from her. But I am asking for your consent to be with her, and my patience with you is growing thin. What will it take to gain your approval Knock Out? You say I am not emotional-" he pressed him harder against the wall. "-is this _angry_ enough for you? Is my frustration proof enough that my feelings are indeed awakened? Tell me what I must do to gain your approval and I shall do it! Whatever it may be, it will be and you will not hinder our connection anymore!"

Silence enveloped the two of them as they continued their stare-down. Knock Out was in shock, but already he could sense that the mech was plotting something, some impossible task to give him. Finally, the doctor smirked. "Fine. If you want to have my blessing to take my sister as your bondmate you must first get the permission of her _other_ half brother."

"What is his name?"

Knock Out's smirk broadened. "He is Bumblebee, the Autobot scout."

One moment of silence again came before Shockwave let the medic fall back to the ground. Her brother was an Autobot. Many bots had relatives on both sides of the war, and he had already sort of known that Scourge had too. But he had forgotten. _Bumblebee is an Autobot. The task of even getting within speaking distance of him without being fired upon is improbable. He would sooner shoot me than listen to me. And even if he did, I am his enemy… he would not grant me his consent…_

In that instant he knew that Knock Out had indeed asked the impossible. But he had to find a way to make it possible. He did not want Scourge and her brother to be at odds with each other over him. Knock Out's approval was essential.

"Very well. I will bring you proof of the encounter when I am able." He said shortly, walking out of the medical ward with a noticeably slumped expression. _How will I ever gain his approval? _He was discouraged and had no ideas. _Maybe Scourge would know a way that I can accomplish this task? _He doubted it, but she had often surprised him before.

At the thought of the femme he realized that he had an unheard com from her. Opening it, he listened to her request to meet him in Predaking's kennel. At the sound of her voice he knew instantly that she was distressed, but over something he didn't know. So, without delay, he changed his course to find her. Whether he found approval in the medic's optics or not, he would be anything and everything that Scourge needed him to be.

But still, even with that thought he couldn't shake the feeling of guilt for keeping her knowledge of the Predacon incident a lie. In a way, he felt that he had betrayed her trust. He _had_ betrayed her trust. He could only pray that she would never learn of his deception.

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**Poor Shockwave... :/**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay! The long awaited (kinda) "Discussion" ;) hope you like it! :)**

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_I was speaking with your brother, Scourge. Things did not go well and I am afraid that I may have made things more complicated for us-_

Shockwave nearly growled in frustration. As he neared closer and closer to their meeting point he became more and more worried about the subject he must bring up with her. He didn't know what to say, how to say it, or even if he should bring it up. Was this something he should tell her? Compared to the lie of the Predacon embryos it seemed very unimportant.

_Idiot! Why do you think of such things when you know that she can never learn the truth?_ He glared at the ground as he walked, not looking up even as Starscream passed him with a snicker. When he thought of facing the femme that he was trying to learn of love with he was met with a feeling of dread. It was a worse feeling than any he had ever had before (Beating Starscream to a pulp in rage withstanding) and it only seemed to grow worse every day. He didn't look her in the optic. He found himself barely able to force conversation from himself. And he could see that she had taken notice. _What if she already knows? _The thought was unbearable. To know that had she may have identified his lie made his frame sink into a slump in guilt. _How can I live on like this if it feels like my spark is breaking free from my chest?_

Entering Predaking's living quarters, he tried to appear unbothered. He watched as Scourge and their creation turned towards him, and he stopped in his tracks. Predaking growled at him. "What has happened here without my knowledge?" It was obvious that something was wrong. Predaking had never looked or sounded so territorial before. And then there was the fact that Scourge was crying. That was a sure sign that something was amiss.

He watched as she stood up, her optics trained on him as Predaking circled around him to block the exit. His battle protocol sent warning pulses to his processor that he ignored. His creation would not harm him. Scourge was questionable considering she was prone to violence when upset, to herself and to others. But he could easily overpower her if necessary. _Why then, do I feel so vulnerable?_

Scourge stopped in front of him and he saw something of malice in her. Normally when she was angry the edges of her optics turned a zealous white. He had noted that a long time ago. When she was frustrated her optics brightened, as was proved time and time again during the sessions where she tried to teach him emotion. To sum up, he had studied her expressions with care. _Never_ before had he _ever_ seen red creep into her vision. "Scourge-"

She cut him off with a wave of her servo, giving him a look of sternness. "Shockwave, I am doing my best to not viciously tear you to shreds right now. In return I just want you to tell me exactly what has been going on." It was a confusing request. There was no pointed subject to it. But, for once, he felt that he knew exactly what she was talking about.

_She couldn't know. There is no way she could have found out._ He reasoned with himself, remaining impassive. "I do not know what you are talking about." He answered flatly, but when Predaking growled deeper he flinched.

::_Wrong answer!_:: His tail whipped around to swipe his legs out from under him. Already having done so once before Shockwave anticipated the movement and jumped over it, but that didn't prepare him for the sudden paw on his back slamming him to the floor. He grunted at the impact, the air successfully knocked out of him. He tried to pick himself up but his creation increased the weight on his back, enough to make him release a cry of pain as several pieces of armor pierced into his protofrom.

"Predaking stop it!" Scourge shouted angrily, trying to shove him off. "We said we were going to deal with this _civilly_!"

He ignored her, lowering his large helm down towards Shockwave's audios. _::How could you set me up? How could you destroy your own progeny? And above all, how could you ever think that I would betray you?!_ I am your son! _I would never try to overthrow the Decepticons! I would have watched over my brothers and sisters to make sure they wouldn't either! Did you even think to ask me about your commander's opinions before agreeing to destroy what could have been _my_ family?!_:: his teeth snapped together harshly next to his helm and he grimaced as the pressure on his backstruts worsened.

"Predaking! Get off of him!"

Just as his emergency stasis protocols were about to take over he felt Predaking push off of him with a snort of anger. He gasped in pain, trying to cool his rapidly heated frame. Scourge knelt down beside him, only he could barely hear her voice. She was worried. He could tell by the widening of her (now completely blue) optics. But he could only hear Predaking's seething.

::_How could you lie to Scourge?_:: he demanded through their private com. ::_How could you deceive the femme that loves you? The only femme that would _ever_ call _you_ family?_:: He barked from the other side of the room, his bright optics narrowed in resentment. ::_How could you live without any guilt?_::

Shockwave coughed, heaving deep breaths. "I…can't." he answered aloud. He couldn't live with the guilt. It had been killing him. As illogical a statement as that was, it was the only way he could describe what he had been feeling.

His words seemed to surprise them both, bringing up two different responses. Predaking went silent as if reprimanded, and Scourge helped him get up onto his servos and knees to better his breathing. "What "can't" you do?" she asked, her small servo rubbing a circle over his back. Her previous anger towards him must have been temporarily forgotten, but he had no doubt that it would be back..

"I can't.. tell you why.. can't.. live a lie…" he couldn't formulate a straight thought over his sensory systems overloading from the obvious puncture into his protoform. He could feel the armor sliced through his wire mesh scraping against his spinal column. "Pain…" he cringed, giving up on his struggle to stand. Falling back to the floor, his vision flickered black. He was vaguely aware of his message hub informing him of serious internal bleeding.

"Shockwave?" Scourge's voice was like a distant shout.

::_Oh no, I-I-… I'm sorry! I didn't mean t_-::

...

...

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**Buahahahaaaa! bet you weren't expecting Predaking to be the one doing the beat down ;) **

**Leave a Review please :)**

**..**

**(...or Shockwave will die! ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, first of all, I am sorry for the wait. I am sorry for the shortness and quality of the chapter. And I am sorry that it is a filler :( I have been really distracted with some of the stories that come after this book and I have been working really hard on those. I am also trying to write a few one shots right now and this just got put off. **

**so.. to sum up: Sorry :'(**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews! They make me smile :)**

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"_Your conclusion is logical… -Starscream, you did not inform me that your plan was already in motion-"_

_"It is true.. the Predacon project has become null and void… Null and void.. _

_…_

_"-but there is something you need to see-see for yourself…"_

_…-_

_"The Autobots… they killed-?" " –All embryos in the area were destroyed…"_

_-"Destroyed…"-_

_….No more secrets.._

_::How could you deceive the femme that loves you? The only femme that would _ever_ call you family!-::_

_…"Shockwave!"…_

_"I love you..and I always will, no matter what you do…"_

_..._

* * *

Voices rang off and on in his helm, from his memories, and all around him. Some were loud, others were quiet. He could hear the constant beep of a life support system, and the worried mutterings of someone nearby, but he could not see properly. Everything was blurry. His body was being numbed, and several pain receptors had been forced to shut down. But even with that help his spine felt achy… like his protoform had been scraped away from it.

A cracked, static filled noise left his throat as he tried to move and he saw something blurry jump up to move next to him.

"Sh…ave?"

He moaned choppily broken up, but that was about the only response he could make. Why would someone tell him to shave? Only organics had to shave… Unless… "Sc-cour-urge…" he could barely hear himself, but when two small servos grasped at his he felt slight relief. She was with him, wherever he was and whatever had happened, she was still by his side.

"Are y- kay?" she gave his servo a tight squeeze.

He blinked, trying to clear his vision, but he only managed to make the blurring worse. He shifted, but each motion he made was stopped by Scourge. Her servos left his and pressed down on his chest, forcing him to lie still.

"Shoc-ave.. sta-ill…"

_Stay ill?_ Was he sick? Why did she want him to stay sick? Was she mad at him? No. If she were she wouldn't be there by his side. She would have run away to seclude herself like she always did. But, what if she had been angry at him and his condition was the cause of it? Did she harm him seriously enough to put in him the medical ward? _If that is the case, I must have been well deserving of some comeuppance._ How she had been able to harm him was beyond his comprehension however. He was stronger than her in every way. How could she have bested him?

"Do..nt-rmemer…" he rasped, trying to move again.

"Stay. Still." That time he words came in loud and clear and he stopped his attempts to sit up. Her servos came up to touch his face and after some fiddling she removed a medical sheet that had been covering his optic. He calmed immensely knowing that, whatever had happened, it had not harmed his vision. He could now see Scourge sitting on a tall stool next to him, her expression full of worry but also relief. She stroked the back of her servo over his cheek and he felt the cold contrast to his body heat.

"How do you feel?"

He groaned, off-lining his optic to block out the bright light around him.

"Not good?"

"Aff-firmative." He croaked, trying to get enough cool air into him to calm his fever. "What-?" he couldn't finish the question, from lack of strength and because of the sudden pressure on his lips. On-lining his optic again he saw that Scourge was kissing him, _fervently_. "Sc-"

"Shh!" she hushed him, her lips capturing his once more before pulling away. Her helm pressed lightly against his and she just stayed close to him, her gaze half lidded. "Just.. rest. Okay? Your spinal cord was damaged…" the coolant gathering just behind her bright blue opals started to spill down her cheek. "And it's _all my fault_! I shouldn't have told Predaking what you did, I was just so mad! I'm sorry!" She sobbed, turning away from him but his servo clenched around her wrist before she could leave. His weakened iron grip was still a force she could not hope to match.

"Don't..leave." he pleaded with her, unable to watch her go. For some reason he could not remember what circumstances lead to his condition, but he knew for certain that it could not have been her fault. If she blamed herself it must have been circumstances out of her control. _It must have been me… I caused this.. somehow…_ but he just couldn't remember. "St-stay." He pleaded again, feeling an unnatural tiredness overcome him. His vision began to ebb at the edges, but the last thing he saw was Scourge sitting down beside him again…

* * *

Predaking paced the length of his kennel, back and forth and again until his paws hurt, and then some more. His spark was hammering painfully within his chest, but it seemed to hurt much deeper than that. His whole body was restless, unable to calm. He had injured Shockwave. His own father! _How did I lose myself so completely to my anger? He might be dead right now!_ At the time, he had felt that his anger was just, but that feeling had instantly gone away when he realized that Shockwave wasn't breathing. He wasn't moving at all.

He had watched in numbness as his creator was carried away on a stretcher, Scourge following closely behind in tears. Her anger had apparently left her as well and she cried out in agony, praying that he was alright. And although no one could hear him, he was doing the same.

::_Shockwave, I'm sorry!_:: he whimpered, collapsing finally to the floor in fits of crying. His claws dug into the ground in frustration. At himself. At Shockwave. At not knowing whether he had killed his father or not. He was just so frustrated with everything! Why did they do this to him in the first place? And why had Shockwave tried to keep it secret?

::_Why? Why? Why?!_:: He growled, buring his face underneath his wings and paws, blocking out the outside world. But he could not block out his guilt. His pain. ::_I didn't mean to… I didn't…_::

_Please be okay…_

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**I will try to get the next chapter out soon. :)**

**Please leave a Review and have a nice day! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow, I can't tell you how unhappy I am with this chapter. I re-wrote it at least four times trying to get it right but I only got this. Wow, I'm just sorry. I might come back and redo it again sometime but for the sake of continuing I will post it now.**

**I also want to say sorry to the readers who are waiting on some of my other stories, I have just been busy and depressed and low on inspiration lately. I will try to get more out soon. **

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When Shockwave awoke once again he felt stiff. His spine was being held straight by a large torso cast encasing his back. But that was all he could tell at the moment. He couldn't feel any pain, just a numbing sensation that seemed to have spread everywhere below his shoulderstruts.

When he regained a sense of his surroundings he was lying down on a berth, his gaze locked on a very high ceiling. He decided it best not to move until he could think clearly again, but he flexed his servos to reassure him that he could indeed move at all. He clenched them into fists at his side and unclenched them repetitively. The sensation of moving gears was enough to assure him that he was still functional, however he was still trying to sort out how he had come into this situation. He was obviously injured. The last thing he remembered fully was Scourge screaming at Predaking. And pain. Unbearable pain. Then he had awoken briefly in the medical ward. He didn't remember anything specific from that except that Scourge had been with him.

But he was not in the medical ward anymore. The room was large and empty of equipment. The berth he was recovering on was temporary and was shoved up against the farthest wall from the large bay door. _Bay door?_ He off-lined his optic in concentration as he tried to think. _Where am I? What happened to me?_

He let a noise of frustration pass his lips, and he then noticed that his mask had been retracted. His breathing was not restricted in any way. In fact, breathing was easier now. Perhaps it only felt that way because of resent strain on his systems, but he took a deep experimental breath. It felt relieving to not be crippled by pain. _I have obviously been healed to some extent._ He noted, pushing that thought away to focus on recovering his memories. Scourge had called for him to meet her and Predaking after he had spoken with Knock Out (The mech's words still brought dejection to his spark), but after that the memories were blended together in a stream of confusing screams…

"Shockwave?"

His gaze finally focused on the blotch of grey in his vision. When studied, he realized that it wasn't a blotch. It was Scourge. "Did you change your paint again?" It was strange to him that it had been the first thing he had noticed, but he faintly remembered her being a green color the last time he saw her.

The question however made her sad expression lift a little in a small smile. "Yeah, Knock Out insisted that if I was going to stay in the medical ward that I at least get a new paint job…" she said quietly, her fingers ghosting over the seams in his armored chest.

"I prefer you in grey. It was what you looked like when I first met you…" he trailed off, his processor throbbing. "As unnecessary as it is to have a preference to your color, I do believe that is my opinion.. I-I think…" he felt unsure of everything he was saying. Perhaps he had knocked a few gears loose? He tried to get past the confusion and focus on the matter that needed attention the most at the moment. "What happened?"

At this her expression turned to hurt and anger. He almost felt frightened, but such change had become natural with her. "I know what you did. I know that you and your Deceptive-buddies plotted against Predaking." A sinking of his spark was the only reaction he could make before her fuse blew. "And I heard the truth from Starscream! _Starscream! _Shockwave you said you'd never lie to me again! You said you wouldn't keep things from me. And you went behind my back, behind Predaking's back, and destroyed the Predacon embryos, and you framed the Autobots for it. I am so-So!... disappointed in you." Her gaze fell and she glared through tears at the ground. "How could you ever think that our Predaking would ever betray you? How could you crush him like that? How could you keep a secret so devastating from him? When he found out he went ballistic! He nearly killed you! And now… he's so upset…"

She sat down on the berth beside his still form, slumped over in exhaustion. "Shockwave, when he saw you brought back in here he was so happy… He was just so relieved that you were okay. But he can't forgive himself. He thinks that you'll never trust him again… and that he'll never be able to trust you again."

He didn't know what to say to that. But, like many times before, he muttered quietly in dejection. "I'm sorry…" and he truly meant it. So many times before he had said that phrase without really understanding why, but now he knew exactly what he had done and was truly very sorry for it. Just simply having it said aloud between them lifted a weight from his spark, but not entirely. He had a vague feeling that he would need to be forgiven before the pain would go away. "I am.. very sorry, Scourge…" he said quietly, his servo moving across the berth, trying to find hers. She saved him the trouble by taking his servo and holding it between both of hers. Her expression softened, but was filled with sadness.

"I am too…"

After her words faded they were enveloped in silence. But he didn't know what else he could do, so he squeezed her servo briefly and pulled her closer weakly. She needed no more encouragement than that, and she quickly crawled up onto the berth with him and curled up against his side. He couldn't help but think about how perfectly she fit there, with him. And he knew that he never wanted anything to force them apart.

"Scourge… please don't leave."

"I won't. I told you before, and I'll tell you again. Nothing you do will ever make me stop loving you, no matter how stupid you can be." She laughed softly, her fingers playing with the seams in his chassis. "But I don't know how quickly Predaking will be able to put this behind him. I've had a long time and a lot of experience trying to ignore some of the things you do, I'm pretty used to it by now…" she trailed off, hugging her arm to her chest. The motion drew his attention away from their topic and he inspected her with a little more concern.

What he saw didn't surprise him, but it made his spark ache. Her arm was littered with thin patches, almost unnoticeable. Obviously, there was more reason to why she had been in the medical ward the entire time he was. "Scourge…" he touched the covered wounds, knowing what lay behind the patches. Knowing exactly how she had come by them. "Why do you continue to harm yourself?"

She look down at her arm. "Don't worry about it, I'm fine now." She said quietly, hiding the wounds from him by cuddling closer to him. "I was upset. Hearing the truth from Starscream just… it hurt." The way she spoke she was accepting of it, of bringing harm to herself in a time of weakness, like it was to be expected. Normal even.

_That is not good_. He concluded, noting her calm expression. _She is no longer troubled by her actions and is just merely hiding them because they bother me._

He grasped her tightly in his arms, holding her against his chassis firmly so she could not move. "Do not do such things to yourself Scourge." It was supposed to sound commanding, but it came out of him like a plea. He was tired of seeing her damaged and in pain. He could not comprehend why she would cause such malady to herself. "Swear to me that you will stop doing such things."

She was quiet before answering. "I-I don't know if I can…" the pure honesty in her words put him at even more disease. He didn't understand. It was a conscious decision that she should have been able to make. Why did she hide her pain, masking it within more agony?

"In the least, come to me when you feel you are in pain so that I may stop you from harming yourself."

She smiled softly at him, but her optics were dimmed tiredly. "Okay… If you promise you're done lying to me and Predaking."

"I swear it." he said quickly, willing to do anything that would prevent her further harm and to mend their fraying and strained friendship. "I will not keep such important things from you or our creation." He felt her relax in his arms and he in turn relaxed his hold on her. "And I will make amends with Predaking the very next moment I see him."

Scourge smirked, burying her face against his chestplates. "That might be a while. Knock Out says that you need to stay lying down for at least a week to let your injuries heal, and Predaking is trying to avoid you when you are awake. He's not ready to face you after what he did to you."

"Is he.. alright?" he strained to say, feeling recharge pulling at the back of his mind. His systems must have been strained to be tired out so quickly.

"He's fine. He's just upset with himself."

Shockwave was slightly put on edge by that statement. But he was just too worn out to do anything about it. "Well, if he is anything like his mother that is cause for worry…" he said half consciously, his vision finally darkening.

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**Hard to believe that this story only has maybe ten chapters left... Next up, more Starscream :) I am evil aren't I? **

**Leave a Review and have and awesome weekend :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Aww, thanks so much for the words of encouragement you guys :') You all made my day. Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, next one should be a bit longer... I think...**

**Oh, and before I forget to mention it. After I am finished with this story I have written a one-shot to go sometime after it. It is already written I just need to edit it a bit. So, be on the lookout for "The perfect gift... sorta" Lame title, I know. But I think it's the only thing that fits the story.**

* * *

Scourge watched from a distance as Predaking interacted with his injured father. It had been a few days, and in that time Shockwave had recovered quickly but was still restricted to berth rest, and finally the Predacon had returned to face his actions. But Shockwave had been accepting of what happened and even assured his creation that he had deserved what punishment he had received. That however didn't ease the young mech's troubled spark, and after that he finally reached up to pat him on the snout.

Scourge smiled at the sight as Predaking pushed his muzzle against his father's servo. It was downright adorable. Although he was a fully grown Predacon, he acted so childishly at times. But only around the two of them. If anyone else was present he remained impassive, like his father, or snappish. _Like me._ She laughed quietly at the thought. He had picked up many of her bad habits. But to Shockwave's relief, and hers, he had not picked up her acts caused by depression. When he returned to them he was completely unharmed.

Her smile falling a bit, she felt along the seams of the small gray patches on her arm. She wasn't proud of what she did, but after all that had happened to her she felt so overwhelmed. But nothing, not Starscream or the destruction of the Predacon embryos, not even seeing Predaking attack Shockwave, was more painful than seeing his reaction to the harm she had made to herself. He was worried. Visibly worried about her, but helpless to do anything. The look he had given her made her spark sick. But even though she knew it was wrong of her to be abusive to herself, she couldn't promise that she would stop. She didn't know if she could. But she'd try. For his sake, she'd try.

"Predaking, that is not wise-Ow!"

Scourge jumped at the sound of pain, her gaze falling on the picture of Predaking edging his front paws and head onto the berth Shockwave was on. His tail was wagging and his whole body twitched playfully as he nipped at his creator's servo when tried to be pushed away. But he didn't clamp down. The whole situation had no hostility to it. And although he seemed to be protesting to the play, Shockwave didn't seem serious in pushing him off.

Smiling again, she waited for a few moments before intervening. Shockwave and Predaking needed the bonding time, but the former needed his rest more at the moment.

* * *

"Megatron, I have some.. _dreadful_ news…" Starscream bowed his helm to his master, but mostly to keep him from seeing the smirk playing across his face.

"What is it Starscream?" The Warlord seemed unimpressed with his façade, his voice was dry and lacking any interest. That didn't faze the Seeker at all however.

"The Predacon has unraveled our ruse." He said, barely containing a snicker.

Megatron vented, rolling his optics as he turned away from him. "Tell me something I don't know Starscream, otherwise do not waste my time with your prattle." Before the Seeker could respond he continued. "My favored first lieutenant has been restricted to berth rest because of the Predacon's knowledge. And frankly, I believe _you_ had something to do with it." he growled, red optics glaring at the smaller mech. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"Ehe, you're wrong?" he jumped back as the large Kaonian took a step forward. "It was Scourge!" he blurted, falling to his knees as his commander drew close. The large mech towered over him, his gaze surprised. "She told the Predacon. It was not me, I swear it! I swear upon the Allspark, master I didn't reveal the truth to him! It was her! That femme wretch! It is she who deserves your wrath master!" By this time he had stumbled into a ravine of rambling. But through his ravings he could see that Megatron was considering his words. So, cautiously, he paused long enough to think clearly before wording his suggestion.

"She should be banned from the warship Megatron. The femme's a worthless glitch that causes only trouble. I say we dump her for the Autobots t find. Perhaps even-"

"Enough, Starscream." The Warlord snapped, yanking him off his knees and to his feet, only to throw him back down again. "I will not have that kind of talk on _my_ ship. Scourge may be troublesome, but she is to be considered one of us until she has proven otherwise."

"She-she revealed the truth to the Predacon!" he objected, pointing out that she had indeed betrayed them. "She is the reason Shockwave is handicapped, however _temporary_ it may be..."

"She is also one of the last known femmes to have survived the war thus far. And given that she has grown close to Shockwave, a mech I would condone to having a mate because of his logical ways, I say that she will remain. And that is final."

"B-but-"

"Enough! I grow tired of your attempts to use, abuse, and destroy what is left of that femme's spark. Don't think I didn't learn of your actions against her. If I didn't still need you I would have you punished for raping a femme. Luckily, Predaking took care of you to the point of my satisfaction. You would do well to remember that nothing happens on this ship without my knowing it. So, do yourself a favor Starscream and stop perusing your personal vendettas." With that, he was obviously dismissed and he scrambled away with what was left of his dignity.

Stalking down the hall once again, he stewed angrily. Of course Soundwave would have tattled to their "_high and mighty_" lord Megatron. He wouldn't have been chief surveillance officer if he hadn't. _That also explains how Shockwave had known about it_. His unmentionables still hurt at the thought of what the science officer had done. He shuddered, although he had taken extra precautions to be sure that no one found out about his recent assault on Scourge, he was slightly afraid that he would be discovered again. And another beating didn't sound very appealing.

_No. There is no way that anyone will find out. Scourge is too afraid to upset her "Family" to tell them what happened. She would never tell Shockwave that she was once again bested by me. It would be too humiliating. She's already been marked as a whore, she doesn't need to solidify it to him. No. She won't tell him. She won't tell anyone. She is too ashamed. _

Nodding to himself, he started back towards his quarters. _Well. It seems that my first plan has failed. Not that that is new in any way…_ He tried to ignore that last thought. _Maybe it is time I took things into my own servos and got things done_… He smirked, enclosing himself within the private walls of his room to plot.

* * *

**Starscream... you are really making me question why you are one of my favorite Decepticons... **

**Leave a Review please :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everybody! Have a good first day back to school? I'm homeschooled, so I don't have to worry about it, but I thought I'd ask :) Well, if it was good for you, great! I'm glad you had a good day. And for those of you who didn't have a good day.. well, I hope a new chapter makes you feel a little better? ;) Enjoy! :)**

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"Scourge…_Scourge!_"

When she heard Shockwave raise his voice she jumped, nearly falling out of her chair. Her optics snapped up to his with a glare, but he merely shook his helm at her with a sigh. "What?"

He continued with his work at a leisurely pace before answering. Taking a sample of the Cyber-matter he was testing, he slid it underneath his microscope. He had recovered and was released from berth rest only three days before, but he instantaneously went back to his project, inviting her to join him now that he had time for her. So, she visited with him whenever she wasn't with Predaking. Sometimes they would talk as he worked, others she would just drift into silence and think as he went on with his business. It was simply nice to be in the same room as him sometimes. But sometimes, it just wasn't enough. "You have been unresponsive to my inquiries for the past ten earth minutes… I thought that perhaps something was bothering you."

"Oh… yeah, I guess something is bothering me a bit." She admitted, leaning against the counter as her legs swung idly under her chair. She was having issues trying to decide how committed Shockwave was to their relationship. Or if he even considered how he felt about her. He often referred to her as his friend, or his companion, but he never said anything about loving her. She had not wanted to bring this subject up with him for maybe a few more weeks, but it had consumed her every thought. She couldn't help but think of him the way she did, she loved him. To her, he was her mech and, hopefully, someday he would be her sparkmate. But to him she was just his teacher, companion, and friend. At least, that was what it seemed like. He spoke once of becoming her sparkmate, but only because it was the logical course of action. He never once said to her that he cared about her like a lover…

"Shockwave, have you considered your standing in our relationship?" she asked bluntly, tired of worming around him and him giving her confusing answers. She just wanted a straight, no nonsense answer from him now.

He paused, considering it. "I do not believe that I would yet call ours a _relationship_. Such a title would suggest that both parties are committed to each other with no doubts. Since I have yet to become free of such hindrance when with you, I would say that I have not yet found the answer to your question."

Scourge didn't move, and she hardly breathed. _He doesn't trust me? Oh no, what if he found out about… No, Starscream wouldn't broadcast that over the warship unless he had a death wish._ She tried to hide her panic, but it was consuming her. "You have… _doubts_? About _us_?" She wrung her servos, biting the inside of her lip as she waited for his answer.

He nodded. "In a manner of speaking. I just do not believe that what you feel and what I feel will ever be equal. And therefore, there will always be a certain amount of doubt on my part."

Her spark sunk, somehow burning and going cold at the same time. He hadn't heard about what Starscream did, but his answer had been no comfort at all. "So, what you're saying is that you don't think we are in an actual relationship or ever will be?" His silence was her only answer as he thought again. But that was the wrong answer all together. He should have said no. If he had any feelings for her at all he would have been quick to point out that what she said was wrong. But he didn't. Instead, he nodded.

"Never entirely. There is much that I-"

"Stop!" she cut him off, turning away so he couldn't see her optics. She was angry, hurt, and helpless. _How could he say that?_ "Just, stop. Just… what am I to you?"

"You are my friend."

She nodded, expecting as much. And although she didn't want to continue, she had to. "And will that ever change?"

"No. You will always be my friend." he sounded like he was trying to assure her, but his words only caused her to cry. _So he will never think anything more of me? I'm just his friend? That's it?_ She wiped her optics clear of energon, but they just continued to fill. "Scourge, you are- _Scourge_!" he shouted after her when she jumped up and bolted for the door, but she didn't turn around. She just needed a moment to herself. She needed to think before she said or did something she might regret. In the back of her mind she was vaguely aware that he would be worried about her disappearance, but the more prominent part of her mind ignored it and told her that he would never actually care about her. Not in the way she wanted. He would never love her, no matter what she did.

She would always be his _friend_.

* * *

"Scourge!" He called for her to come back, and when he was ignored he quickly started to follow her. He knew that she would not understand what he meant, and seeing her cry again only made him feel worse. He only meant that a romantic relationship with him was a bit farfetched. He would never act like a normal mech to her, but he would always care about her. He would always care for her. She was a very important part of his life now. And she always would be. She was his _only_ friend.

"Shockwave!"

He stopped in the middle of the hall at the summons, but his optics stayed on his femme as she disappeared farther away. He wanted to go after her and explain his response to her more clearly, but if Starscream had come down to speak with him it must have been important. The Seeker wouldn't dare be around him if it wasn't, not after their little scuffle with the Cyber-matter in his decimated laboratory.

"What is it, Starscream?" he inquired, finally tearing his gaze away from where Scourge had left. He turned towards the smaller mech and was met with a smirk.

"Shouldn't you be in your laboratory Shockwave?"

"Yes." He answered simply, starting to walk back in that direction. He ignored the look of momentary surprise that crossed the mech's face and continued on. The sooner he was finished with his day's work the sooner he could track down his femme to reconcile with her. That was the logical option considering the variables. If he didn't continue his work Starscream would most likely report him, and Scourge could wait… possibly. There was always the chance of her emotional state driving her to harm herself or others…

With that thought in mind he made sure to finish his work as quickly as possible. He had to fix things hastily or suffer consequences that he didn't wish to. He didn't want Scourge to be hurt, by anyone…

"I will be with you soon Scourge. Do not do anything rash…" he said quietly.

* * *

"Slag it, who needs him!" Scourge paced the hull of the warship, uncaring of the cold and windy conditions. Her frame shivered fitfully but aside from wrapping her arms around herself, she did little to protect herself from it. The cold made her numbness feel almost right. "So what if he never cares about me? I survived without him before. Maybe it's just not meant to be between us…" the part of her that was tired of emotional abuse wanted to agree. But another part of her told her that it just wasn't so. He cared about her, if he didn't he wouldn't try so hard. For instance, after he had recovered he told her about his attempt to appeal to her brother. It had ended disastrously, but he had tried to gain his approval. That in its self proved that he was devoted to her to some extent.

_"I am afraid that your brother has asked the impossible. An enemy will never even speak to me civilly. I am sorry I have failed you Scourge…"_

_"Shockwave, we'll find a way. I promise. And when we do, we'll both rub Knock Out's over polished face in it."_

Her words had surprisingly had a calming effect to them, and he had not further discussed his failure. _Now why would he even try to get Knock Out's approval if he didn't find me more than a friend?_ She sighed, leaning against a wall as she overlooked the barren desert they were flying over. It was beautiful at night with all the stars out. Very similar in fact to the way Cybertron was before she met Shockwave. Dead. Cold. Alone.

She sighed again, crossing her arms as she thought about him. He tried to please her far too hard to only think of her as a friend. "Maybe…" a thought started to form in her mind, and it made her feel guilty for not realizing it sooner. "Maybe because he hasn't felt love for another person before he doesn't know how to address it? Maybe calling me his friend is the closest word he has to describe what he is feeling!" her servos clasped over her mouth in realization. That was it. Where she called him her love, he called her his friend because that was the deepest word he could think of. He probably had never even had a friend before her! "That's it…" she gasped, feeling a weight being lifted off her spark. She laughed in relief. "I've figured it out!" She danced in a circle, simply relieved. Her relationship was him was not in jeopardy because he didn't feel the same. He _did_ care about her, he just didn't know how to express it in a way that she would understand! "I understand now!" she cried out to the dark sky, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. "Oh Shockwave… I'm so sorry it took me so long to realize…"

Scourge stilled, a sudden pain in her helm making her spark stop beating. Her optics grew wide. One gasp escaped her chest…

Then her vision faded.

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**Bwuaahahhhahahaha! :) I. Am. Evil! :) **

**Leave a Review please and have an awesome week :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Holy smokes! What's this? I got a chapter out before the weekend? *happyface* ;p I was just excited to write this next part, I couldn't wait any longer! :) **

******Oh yeah, and I just couldn't help but throw a _Pricee_ (OptimusXArcee) part in there near the beginning. Sorry folks, I'm a shipper! ;)**

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Bumblebee sat on a berth in the medical bay, his optics locked on the figure in front of him unblinkingly. His spark was a mess of different emotions, but mostly he felt numb with questions. How? Why? Where? Where had she been? Where did she come from? Why was she here? And how did she survive?

The femme on the berth in front of him was being tended to carefully by Ratchet. She had been unconscious when they found her, beaten and left for dead, but even then he had known who it was. Her name was unknown to him, but his spark recognized her within an instant. Whoever the femme was, he was connected with her somehow. And for some reason, he thought he might have seen her before… a long time ago.

[How is she?] He asked for what had to be the umpteenth time. He saw the medic's shoulders stiffen and slump, but he didn't care if he was annoying the old mech. He was willing to risk getting hit in the helm with a wrench to make sure that the femme was alright. She looked like pit. Her gunmetal grey armor was dented, scratched, and burned. It was almost like she had been thrown off of the Decepticon Warship… or dropped from the sky in some other way. All Optimus had said was that she was neutral, and it was likely that she had been staying with the Decepticons previously. But it only raised more questions. Like, why did she leave? As a femme she was a tactical advantage for their enemies. Even as young as he was he understood that they needed femmes to rebuild their race, it was one reason he tried to take care of Arcee so much. They all did. Because one day she would eventually spark-bond with Optimus (oh come on, who _didn't_ know that?). So why? Why would the Decepticons let their leverage go? Or did they? Did she run away from them? Her injuries could be an answer to that question, but he wanted to know for sure. So, he would wait for her to wake.

"For the _sixteenth time_ Bumblebee, she has minimal damage and just needs a few patches and some rest. Now either get out of my med bay or be quiet so I can work!" Ratchet snapped, but he knew that the mech was just worried. Although he claimed that she was in better shape then she looked, it was obvious there were some things that he wasn't telling. He was worried about something.

[Ratch, I need to know what happened.] He insisted, looking at the older mech pleadingly. He was well known throughout the Autobot ranks as the youngling with the most irresistible sparkling stare, and he knew for a fact that even Ratchet couldn't ignore it on his best day. [Please?]

The old medic vented, pinching the section between his optics. "She has signs of long term abuse. The scars on her arms, neck, and chest are sure signs that she was mistreated. And the fresher wounds to her spark and-uh, _hips_-" he tended to try to shield him as much as he could, he was still a youngling in their years but he had matured a lot faster than Ratchet wanted to believe. "-suggest that she has been forcefully merged and interfaced with in recent times, and who knows how many times before…"

[You mean… they used her as a-as a-] his servos shook with fury, his spark burning with a protective passion over the small grey femme. [-As a _pleasure-bot_?!]

"Bumblebee, shush!" Ratchet looked around, probably for Smokescreen or anyone else who could have overheard. "No one needs to know this right now. I doubt that she will want everyone to know that sort of thing when she wakes. It is best that we keep that information to ourselves for the time being…" he placed a firm servo on the young scout's shoulder. "She will be alright, that's all that matters right now."

Bumblebee whirred in agitation, glaring at the floor. [Those Decepticons will pay for what they've done to her!] He swore, ignoring Ratchet as he rolled his optics and left to run a few scans into their database. He stood up and moved closer to the still femme, taking in her features slowly, crosschecking every memory he had to find her in them. He couldn't remember anything about her, but he _knew_ her. He just _knew_ he did!

[Don't worry…] He sat down beside her on the berth, taking her colder servo in both of his own. [I won't let them hurt you again. I'll destroy any one of them that dares to come near you!]

* * *

Shockwave was twitchy.

That was about as close to frantic as he could ever be.

He couldn't find Scourge. He had checked all of her usual places; her room, the wreck room, the medical ward (to Knock Out's displeasure), Predaking's kennel, and even _his_ room. Needless to say, she wasn't in any of those places. After that he had tried reaching her over the ship's central communication system, to no avail. He had then deduced that she had gone out flying with Predaking. But after a quick word with his creation he found that he hadn't seen Scourge all day. He had then been reduced to searching every corner of the ship and asking every Vehicon he passed for knowledge of her whereabouts. And finally, he heard that she had been on the outer hull of the ship a few hours ago.

He was walking there now, resisting the urge to run and make a scene. He was sick to his spark with unease. He couldn't help but be upset with himself, angry even. He shouldn't have listened to Starscream. He should have told him to "shove it up his tailpipe", and left to go find his femme while he knew where she was. She could be hurt now, or worse, because of his inability to shove his logic aside. If she was harmed, it was his fault.

::_Shockwave!_:: Megatron's voice was dripping with venom over the communication system. ::_Report to the bridge immediately._::

He vented slowly, trying to regain control over his rapidly beating spark. ::_I will be there momentarily._:: he answered, changing course to the bridge. He wanted to continue his search, but something told him that whatever Megatron had called him for was important.

* * *

"You. Did. WHAT?!" Both Megatron and Shockwave were glaring at the slim Seeker in front of them, but unsurprisingly it was the latter that cracked.

Starscream had just admitted to abandoning Scourge in the middle of the desert, her communications damaged and dysfunctional. He had said it casually, but with an underlining layer of pride. That hint of smugness was enough to make Shockwave tick. The instant that the Seeker opened his mouth again to speak he found himself being thrown against the far wall, leaving a sizable dent in it before he fell to the floor.

Starscream whimpered, crawling away from the science officer on his servos and knees. "No! You don't understand! I have a reason-!"

Shockwave ignored his words, lifting the smaller mech into the air by his neck and slowly crushing the cables between his fingers. "When I am finished with you, you will be nothing but _powder_ beneath my feet!" He transformed his cannon blaster back into another servo and grasped at the mech's sensitive wing, giving it a good yank, bending it out of shape. Starscream cried out in agony, and struggled to be free from his tormentor.

"Master!" he shrieked, looking towards the motionless Decepticon warlord. "Tell your lapdog to back off! Let me explain-!"

"Tell me where you left her!" Shockwave shouted, bringing his attention solely back on him. "So help me Starscream, if you have harmed her there is no place you will be able to hide from my wrath! _Tell Me Where You Left Her!_"

Finally, Starscream sputtered. "With the Autobots. I left her with them! It was all a part of my plan-" he squeaked as the servo around his neck tightened. "-my plan to get us back on track!" he clawed at the servo desperately, only to have Shockwave forcefully restrain him. "Predaking will be too worried about his female creator to worry about his fallen brethren. His anger will be aimed at the Autobots too, because they have her! This will get him off our backstruts!"

Shockwave begrudgingly listened to the Seeker's words, wanting to ignore the logic in his plan. But, no matter how badly he wanted to rip him into shreds, a stern look from Megatron made him eventually release his captive. His optic narrowed on the smaller mech, absolute hatred filling his spark. "If you harmed her…" he couldn't even find the words to finish his threat, and even Starscream seemed to realize just how angry he was.

With all his willpower, he pulled himself away from the offending being, turning instead to his master. "Lord Megatron, I will be focusing all my efforts on bringing Scourge back. I will probably be away from my laboratory research for some time, but I will not return to it until I know that she is safely aboard this vessel once again." He left no room for argument, his tone final even to his superior. He was going to find Scourge, and that was that. No one was going to stand in his way.

_If Starscream has harmed her… I will kill him._

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***Another-happier-face* :) does anyone else get a thrill from beating the scrap out of Starscream? I love him to bits in most of my stories, but just not this one. ;)**

**Leave a Review please :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Wow, sorry for the wait and the short update. :/ Work is a killer (and if work is a killer school is the devil ;P) I've just been having an overwhelming time of it lately. And I've been working on two one-shots that come after this book! I'm so excited for those, I can barely keep myself from posting them now ;P**

**Anyways! On to the chapter! :)**

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The feeling of someone watching her was the first sensation that came to Scourge when she started to wake up. Slowly, her optics flickered only to a point where she could survey her surroundings, and she was met with nothing that she had ever seen before.

She was in a large, dirty grey room. The ceiling was tall and made in a fashion that she had never seen before. Everything looked sloppily put together and re-enforced, making the whole building seem unstable even to her. There were obviously several modifications that were new, like the large berth she was lying on and the large computer consol to her left. They were all fit to the size of Cybertronians, but she was _not_ with the Decepticons.

A familiar blue and red mech walked into her vision, but the Prime paid her no mind. He instead was talking to another, similarly painted mech. She didn't recognize him from anywhere, but she guessed he was somewhat important. The way he walked and held himself gave him a look of authority.

Sitting up slowly, she looked around at the rest of the Autobots in the room. There were so many… A sudden thought made her spark sink. How would Shockwave be able to find her here? And even if he did, there was no way that he would be able to save her. Would he even try? The odds wouldn't be in his favor, and it would be illogical for him to risk his life. But strangely, the thought that he might not come for her didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. She actually hoped that he didn't. She didn't want to see him die for her.

The conflicting feelings of fear and resigning herself to her fate must have drawn a little attention from the presence beside her.

[Hey, don't worry.] An artificial voice came from somewhere behind her, making her jump to see who it was. Her optics lightened at the sight of the familiar yellow Scout. [We won't hurt you.] he assured. [I'm Bumblebee, what's your name?]

Scourge's mouth fell agape at the sight of him. Her long lost brother was nothing like she had imagined he would be. He was a smaller build, but with strong looking frame. His optics were just as large and curious as they had been when he was a sparkling, bright blue and innocent. How he had retained that look throughout the stellar-cycles of war was a mystery to her. "Bumblebee?" her voice was barely above a whisper. She just couldn't believe that it was actually him. After all this time, she finally got to see her brother again. "You've gotten so big…"

He whirred in confusion, his helm cocking to the side slightly. [Have we met?]

She smiled, unable to contain it. "Yes."

* * *

The days went by with agonizingly slow hours. And during the first week that Scourge had been missing Shockwave never once abandoned his search for her. He stood at Soundwave's normal station, looking for any sign, any clue to his femme's whereabouts. The communications officer had been surprisingly compliant with Shockwave's use of the surveillance equipment and had even offered his assistance by sending Laserbeak out to scout the areas where Autobots had been seen lately. All in all, he was glad for the mech's assistance.

Although he saw much more of Starscream now that he was on the bridge, the Seeker had been awfully quiet as of late. Sporting new damage and a meeker behavior, Shockwave guessed that he had been on the receiving end of a good punishment from their Master. And for some reason, that sentiment helped his thoughts not stray to those of tearing the Seeker to shreds. He was able to focus solely on his task finding any sign of where Scourge could be found.

But it had been useless. Totally and utterly useless. Starscream had sabotaged her locations beacon and communications device. Even if she could get away from the Autobots, she would not be able to contact them or him her. As the days drug on, his hopes of ever finding her became smaller and more desperate. What if the Autobots had killed her? It was not a logical assumption given her value to both sides as a femme, but the thought lingered in his mind like an overhanging cloud of dread. He just couldn't help but wonder exactly what was happening to her, or what all Starscream had done to her beforehand. It was maddening, not knowing, and being unsure of everything. Now, he stared at the computer consol, wishing and praying for a sign. Any sign. Just some sort of confirmation that she was alive and not harmed.

It wasn't until Megatron had ordered him to leave the bridge that he finally took respite from his search. And it wasn't until then that he approached Predaking on the issue. His progeny took it as well as he had.

::_I am going to kill that mech!_:: Predaking snarled, his helm whipping around and thrashing out at an invisible enemy. ::_I'm going to rip his internals out and make him eat them as he slowly dies of energon loss! And then-The Autobots are going to pay for taking mother hostage. I am going to make the rue the day they ever set optics on her! They will all perish! They-_::

"Predaking…" Shockwave vented softly in defeat. "Save your breath. It is not for certain as of yet that the Autobots have harmed her at all…" His supposed point for self restraint was weak even in his own audios, despite the logic. Vaguely he wondered if everyone felt like this during the War for Cybertron when cherished one went missing. It was a horrible feeling. He couldn't stress how much he wished to be rid of it, but at the same time he clung to the feeling as if his life depended on it. "We will find her again Predaking, I swear it. And if the Autobots have harmed her at all…" _Let your vengeance bring an end to them all._

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**Again, I apologize for the shortness. I'll try to make the next chapter longer and have it out sooner :)**

**Leave a Review please :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everybody! Hope you all are having a good week so far, I know I am. :) Well, this story is just about finished, only a few more chapters left. You all have been so kind with your reviews and PMs. Thank you so much! :) My only regret is that I feel my chapters are way too short :/**

* * *

Bumblebee watched and listened to his newly found sister with rapt attention as she recounted the stellar-cycles that they had been apart. His optics never left her, and his spark thrummed happily at the thought that throughout all the war he had had a family and just hadn't known it. Of course her tale wasn't a very pleasant one. Starting from the time she had last seen him as a sparkling, she had been abandoned as a neutral on their home world and lived alone as a scavenger for stellar-cycles before she was rescued. She told him of her time spent in the company of the Decepticon scientist's, Shockwave's, laboratory, but as she said this it was obvious that she wasn't telling him everything. There was a pain in her optics as she told of how she had been attacked and had fallen into a deep ravine. And of how when she later met Shockwave again, on Earth, he had thought that she had been dead. The regret and sadness of her retelling confused him. How could she have been sad to leave a Decepticon? They were all evil, Shockwave especially… Weren't they?

But soon after, her story became more positive, even joyful. But what seemed good for her, was horrific to the young Scout. Whatever had happened to her, it had definitely painted the Decepticons in a different light. She had been happy to see the Predaking, and explained that she was motherly towards it because of her time in Shockwave's laboratory. She told him of how protective he was over her and how playful he was. Bumblebee remained skeptical.

[That creature almost killed Ultra Magnus!] He looked over at the newest addition to team Prime, a sad feeling coming over him. The larger mech still hadn't become used to his new servo, and it was painfully obvious that he had used his old one for practically everything. Now, he held everything with his left servo, uncertainly and awkwardly.

Scourge sighed, her happy expression falling. "He only did that because you all killed his soon to be brothers and sisters. After the whole encounter…" the pain that she radiated made him regret ever saying anything, but with another sigh she continued. "He was depressed for a long time. And when we found out that it was really the Decepticons who had staged the entire thing, well, he was pretty pissed. We did some things that we regretted, caused a lot of trouble, made up for our mistakes and moved on. But things really haven't been the same since. It's hard to regain trust once you've lost it…"

Bumblebee nodded in understanding, looking down at the floor. That explained a lot of where she had been for most of his life, but one thing was left unanswered. [How did you end up in the desert?] He asked, and she suddenly looked angry, and ashamed.

"Let's just say I've made a few enemies aboard the Nemesis. Shockwave normally protects me against them, but… It's hard to protect someone who constantly runs away from you."

Now he whirred in confusion. Throughout her whole story, Scourge had made the scientist out to be something of her savior. Why would she run away from him if that was true? He knew she was keeping something from him, but he tried not to pry too much. The basics were all he needed to know, and that was all that Optimus Prime had wanted to hear too.

His leader had stood by silently throughout her entire story, watching her with interest and, surprisingly, a hint of pity and understanding. He hadn't said a word since she started talking, but now that her tale was concluded he moved to stand next to her. "You said that you claim the position of neutral. Do you still make this claim?"

She nodded.

Bumblebee's doorwings drooped slightly in disappointment. He had hoped that she would join their side and help bring an end to the war. Tentatively, he spoke up again. [Well, why don't you join the Autobots? You'd be safer here with us.]

Scourge smiled sadly, as if she had already considered this and decided against it. "I can't."

[Why not?] He was generously curious, but that didn't stop him from seeing the disapproving look coming from Optimus. His behavior was becoming a little childish.

"I just can't. I have family aboard the Nemesis." She looked hesitantly from him to the Prime, her voice dropping to a mere whisper. "I have a brother, Knock Out. Predaking is like my sparkling. And…" she said the next so quietly Bumblebee nearly didn't hear it. "I have a potential sparkmate there as well." This seemed to capture Optimus Prime's attention more so than it did his.

"A potential sparkmate?" now her full attention was on the Prime. "That has been a rarity since the beginning of the War for Cybertron. Pray tell, who might this mech be? If it is at all possible I would like to spare this mech for the greater good of our future." At this, Scourge frowned.

"There's no way you'd ever let him live… not after all that he has done to the Autobots. And I don't think he'd ever change his way of thinking, no matter what happened. He'd probably die for the Decepticon cause because it is what he believes in."

Bumblebee's spark itched, and he had a flickering of an idea who she was talking about. But how could it be? It didn't seem possible. [Who is he?]

Scourge looked down at her servos, clasped together tightly in her lap. "Shockwave."

* * *

After that Bumblebee had bombarded her with questions, mostly in disbelief, and she answered as many of them that she could. But after the stream of questions had ended, Optimus Prime himself took her aside, away from her little brother and told the Scout to think further before he said anything he may regret, and he lead her outside of their base.

Outside was dark, but not as cold as she had expected it to be. Walking with the towering Prime between the many buildings was actually calming and not as stressful as she had thought. He seemed content leaving her to her thoughts, which she appreciated greatly after all the information she had learned of her brother's time as an Autobot. From all that he had told her he had a hard time growing up so quickly and being thrust into a war, but Optimus Prime had taken him in like a son. And although Optimus was not a very experienced mech with sparklings, he had done a fair job of raising her brother. She assumed he probably had a lot of help.

But that wasn't what was on her mind at the moment. Her thoughts were all centered on Shockwave. Would he have approved her telling the Autobots about their relationship? She was afraid not. It would give the "enemy" an advantage against him. He would have thought it illogical. But she couldn't help it! She just thought that maybe, _maybe_, if she told them that she was with a mech they may let her go home… back to him.

With a quiet sob, she wiped energon away from her optics in an attempt to compose herself. _Crying won't solve anything. It won't change that you might never see him again..._ She told herself, but the thought only produced more tears. And even if I do see him again… The Autobots would kill him on sight!

She stopped in her tracks, burying her face in her servos as the gravity of her situation took its full blow. At first it had been numbed by the appearance of her long lost brother, but now that she had a moment to reflect on the facts it tore her apart…

Falling to her knees she cried out loud, unable to keep it back any longer. "Please don't-don't kill him! I know he's your enemy, but he really is a good mech. Please, don't…" the rest of her cries were drowned out by the deep voice of her escort.

"Scourge, we will do everything in our power to spare your brother. But if it does come down to it, I am afraid that if the only way to win this war is to kill him we must. I'm sorry…"

"Not _him_!" she almost exploded, but then felt guilty for not thinking about her brother. "Shockwave…" she quickly explained, only now realizing that she had buried herself against the large mech's chest. He had embraced her in an attempt to comfort her, but it wasn't working. The only comfort she would ever feel would be when she was back in _her_ mech's arms. "I-I guess, I mean they both are important to me. But I-I just couldn't live without Shockwave. He's my only reason to keep living… I love him."

Optimus Prime seemed to take his time as he thought over what she said, his servo gently patting her back as she sobbed. "The same condition applies to Shockwave I suppose." He answered finally, his tone understanding and almost sad. "There is obviously more to your relationship with him than what you have revealed to us, but I can see that it hurts you to think about. I fully believe that he is a stronghold for you, his sound logic and steady mind would balance the instability that so obviously plagues you."

Scourge hiccupped. "Is it that obvious?" it was almost embarrassing that a complete stranger could know her so well.

The Prime chuckled. "I am afraid so." Holding her back at arm's length, he brushed a few remaining tears from her face. "It is also obvious that no matter how much you seem to crave a friendship with your brother that you would rather be with the one you care most about. If you show so much devotion to him I can only imagine how much commitment he has to you. He will probably hunt us down to find you. He is determined like that." He smiled slightly, as if remembering a secret joke, but it quickly disappeared and he became serious again.

"Just promise me that if he does show up that you'll spare him." She locked optics with the mech, pleading desperately with all her spark. "Please…"

His expression remained grave. "That would depend on the mannerism of his arrival."

* * *

Optimus looked down at the small grey femme as they headed back inside, his spark reaching out to her sympathetically. His next decision would be hard, given what was a stake. From what he had seen and heard from her, Scourge was a much damaged femme. Ratchet's examination proved the same. From her physical condition, it was obvious that she had been subjected to spark-rapes, perhaps more than once, and very recently. The question remained: who had done it? Was Shockwave her protector, or was he her assailant? He had seen many different examples of damaged females from species that clung to their oppressors after long enough time being tortured by them. The only reason he thought against the idea was because Shockwave was a mech devoted to logic.

In no case was abusing a femme ever logical.

It was wrong. Morally. Ethically. Logically. It was wrong in every way possible.

_No. Shockwave would not be capable of such things. Her feelings to him must be true, and whatever he feels for her must be also._ He concluded, opening the door to the hanger and ushering Scourge inside. They said nothing as he led her to her temporary room, but his mind was reeling. That left him with only a few options.

Keep Scourge with them?

Or return her to the Decepticons?

* * *

**hmm, what will happen next? Will Optimus let Scourge return to the Decepticons and her one true love? Or will he keep her where she is safe with them? And what about Bumblebee? Even though he just found out that Scourge is his sister, I doubt he would want her dating Shockwave ;p**

**Leave a review :) I'll try to get the next chapter up by this weekend!**


	16. Chapter 16

**I am so sorry! I meant to have this update up two weekends ago! :( I had a surprise visit from my cousin on my birthday and while she was here I just didn't have time to write. So, send Natty-Wacker the hatemail if you are mad ;) lol. Seriously though, she said that she was okay with it. ;P I love my cousin. :)**

**Anyways, I am so sorry! To make up for it I have a longer chapter...? will that make up for the lack of updates? I am so sorry... :/**

* * *

Again, I am so sorry

::_Shockwave, report to the bridge_::

The com was open only long enough for the command to come through before it was shut, which was fine with him. He had never and would never be one for prolonged idle conversation. If Soundwave was his favored officer it was for the reason that he never wasted any time.

Quickly rising from his berth, Shockwave left his quarters to do as he was bid. His spark hammered painfully in its casing at the prospect of finally having some news on Scourge's whereabouts. Was she trying to get back? Or, he was secretly pained at the thought, did she want to stay with the Autobots? He had often heard that Optimus Prime was a kind mech and that his soldiers treated femmes with respect. What if she didn't want to come back? What if-

He almost stumbled in his fast strides at the pain that stabbed at his soul. What if she met another mech that rivaled his place in her life? What if, in her fickle state, she clung to another and found that she could do much better than a mech as emotionally screwed as he was?

What if she didn't want him anymore?

When she had left, she had left because of a misunderstanding. She had been upset at him, and he feared that he had come off as detached to her. Could she have thought that he didn't wish to be with her? Given her track record for misunderstanding him, he wouldn't have been surprised if that had been what she thought.

All these thoughts brought a feeling of hurt and hopelessness into his spark, and as he stalked through the halls to the bridge the feelings curdled into an unidentifiable emotion. He had felt it before, but somehow couldn't place it. He felt angry. At the Autobots. And at himself. There was an inner turmoil in his chest that could only be described as a caged beast clawing and pushing, trying to break free and tear whoever was keeping Scourge from him to pieces.

As he entered the bridge, he noticed that it was dark and empty. The only light shone from the observation station where the lone form of Soundwave stood motionless. Shockwave found it strange that the bridge was completely empty, but he figured that on autopilot it would be safe to leave the controls in the third in command's capable servos, and so he didn't question it.

"Soundwave, you summoned me?" Shockwave stood at a respective distance from the mech. Although he was technically higher up the chain of command, he couldn't help but treat him with the respect of an equal. After all that he had done for the Decepticon cause he had definitely earned it. He was also helping him locate Scourge, for reasons he didn't quite understand, but he wasn't going to make an issue to know.

Soundwave turned to him slowly, nodding in acknowledgement. ::_I did. Before I reveal to you why-I have an inquiry._::

"Ask, and I shall answer."

The silent mech nodded, pausing briefly to check the computer consol behind him. He seemed reluctant to divulge his information, and his question. ::_Do you truly care for Scourge's wellbeing?_::

"Yes." He replied without a second thought. Which didn't surprise him yet did at the same time. But, in his intense desire to just find Scourge and have her safe back in his presence, he didn't devote much thought to the confliction. "And I wish to find her as soon as possible." He was agitated with the mech's pointlessness, but remained ever patient when Soundwave continued.

The slim mech's fingers twitched, but he didn't otherwise move. ::_If you do care about her, I strongly suggest against pursuit._::

"I..do not understand."

Before he could do any more to object, Soundwave pulled up a plethora of images, video recordings, and audio clips. Each featured a distressed Scourge, crying, screaming, or otherwise reacting to something that he had said or done. Each scene that filled the computer screen sent stabs of pain into his spark. Scourge looked so broken. And there was so much film. _Have I truly upset her this much?_ He despaired, watching the collage with a sinking spark.

Soundwave watched him with a calculating posture before speaking again with mixed clips. ::_You have harmed her emotionally more times than I can express, even with full proof of the incidents. Your actions have not proved to harm her as disastrously as Starscream's have, but they do still cause her distress…_:: There he paused, closing down the images. His shoulders drooped with a soundless sigh as he continued. ::_Scourge has done much for me that has put me in her debt. As you have, I have sworn to protect her to the best of my ability. And to do that, I must point out that the best thing for her may be for her to stay with the Autobots… Since you have failed to serve her as her protector and seem to mentally torture her with every waking hour you two spend in each other's company_.::

Shockwave stared at him, at a loss for words, but he didn't have to answer as the mech readily continued.

::_I called you here because I have received a message, from Optimus Prime._:: If he wasn't wearing a mask, Shockwave would have guessed he was being given a meaningful look. ::_He has reason to believe that she would be harmed if ever returned to us. He fears for her safety among us, and I agree. I cannot step up as her guardian against Starscream because he is higher above me. Only you could protect her. The question is: can you? Every time Starscream has ever harmed her it is because she left your presence and you weren't there to lookout for her. Can you manage to stop driving her away and keep her close to protect her? And if you can, will you?_::

A surge of offense and anger tingled through his frame, and he took an involuntary step towards the mech who had insulted him. But Soundwave was not intimidated. He did not even twitch. "I would lay down my life to find her, and when I do I will never let her leave my sight again!" He growled, his throat literally rumbling with the primitive sound. "If you know where she is tell me before I-"

::_There is no need for threats, Shockwave_.:: Soundwave said calmly, turning to his consol before rapidly typing again. ::_I just want to be sure. If she is safer with the Autobots, I would rather her stay away from here. But, if you can swear to sacrifice your life for her, I will inform the Autobots that she is welcome to return._::

Shockwave relaxed a little, but then was struck with an odd thought. "Why are they offering to return her to us? What do they wish for in return?"

At this Soundwave actually shrugged. ::_They have not requested anything of us except for her guaranteed safety upon her return. They say that she wishes to return to us… to you._:: Leaving the air empty of sound after that, he turned to stare at him intently. ::_So tell me: Do you even deserve this second chance? Will you treat Scourge with the love and respect that she deserves? Will you strive to better yourself for her? And will you protect her until you die for her?_::

"Yes."

* * *

Shockwave hit the ground with an ungraceful thud as he jumped down from Predaking's back. Not even waiting for his creation to slow in his descent before doing so, he heard the large Predacon land behind him in a stirring of dust. Gun raised, he took a quick survey of the area. They were in the middle of the desert, standing off against a group of Autobots, with nothing between them but a lone femme.

The instant his optic graced over Scourge's grey form, his spark stopped, numbed, and thrummed all at the same time. He took into account that the Autobots were directly behind her, but didn't weigh the options or the logic in his actions before he took them. He sub-spaced his Ion cannon and stepped forward to embrace her. Taking her into his arms tightly, he ignored her quiet protests and held her against his spark. He wrapped himself protectively around her, his audios def to everything, but his optic aware of every move the Autobots made. One servo went to shield her helm should any open fire break out, but other than guns raised at the looming Predacon behind him, none of the Autobots moved to hurt them. He counted four of them in all; Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Utra Magnus, and Arcee. Any one of them he could take on his own, but he wasn't fool enough to believe that he stood a chance against them all at once.

"Shockwave-" the voice of the Prime finally broke through his thoughts, and only then did he realize that he had executed an irrational and very dangerous plan of action. "Tell the Predacon to stand down. We mean you know harm…" he said calmly, but not lowering his rapid-blaster. "This is a peace meeting. We only want to return Scourge to her home."

Shockwave sent him a glance before snapping at Predaking to settle down. ::_But at the first hint of violence you are to take Scourge to safety._:: He quickly instructed, loosening his grip on Scourge when she started to struggle a little in his grasp, but he did not let go of her. He didn't think he ever could again. "If that was truly your only intention, why then would you take your best soldiers with you?"

"Shockwave…" Scourge's voice was soft and quiet, but his attention was brought to her as she started playing with the seams on his chassis. "Don't get in a fight with them. Please… just take me home." she whispered, and his spark fluttered when she sunk more comfortably into his protective embrace. He considered her words, relieved that she still wished to be with the Decepticons, but he was unsure what he should really do. He swore he would defend her to his last breath, but he had done so before. What if he couldn't stop Starscream from harming her again? What if she truly was safer with the Autobots?

"Shockwave, I understand that you do not trust us." Optimus Prime spoke up again, de-arming himself when Predaking finally settled down. "But we truly want what is best for Scourge. We would never dream of harming her. She is free to roam between factions without fear of harm from us, and I pray for the sake of future peace that she will be allowed to." As the Prime stepped forward Shockwave took a step back, turning to shield Scourge from him should this be some sort of trick. Obviously seeing the defensive move, the Prime stopped a few steps away. "It seems to me that you are set on seeing to her protection and do not trust us with her. I understand that. You may never trust us, but I must offer you this: for her sake, join the Autobots. She is obviously preyed upon among your ranks. With us she will be safe. You would have no reason to fear for her-"

"No." He denied quickly, stepping farther away.

"Are you sure?" Optimus prompted, looking between him and Scourge. "You would be given a fair position. And with you at our side there might be a chance for peace between our ranks to come quicker than-"

"I am sure." He interrupted quickly, almost pushing Scourge behind him. He wanted to get out of their sight as quickly as physically possible. "I have made my stand, and that will not change. _I_ will protect Scourge. And she will be safe with _me_."

Optimus nodded, turning to return to his troops. "Very well. Safe journey." He bade them farewell, but before he could give the order to retreat Bumblebee shot forward. Shockwave instinctively blocked his path to Scourge, but she slipped under his outstretched arm to embrace the yellow Scout.

[Come back to see me.] he whirred quietly, eyeing Shockwave over her shoulder.

"I will." She promised with a smile, pulling away to return to his side. Shockwave himself was torn between furious and horrified.

[As for you.] the young mech addressed him sternly. [If you ever let anything happen to my sister ever again, I will hunt you down and rip you apart myself! You are lucky to have her, and you better remember that every day that you are left alive.]

Bending down more to the Scout's height, Shockwave snarled. "I remember it with every waking moment, _Scout_." He growled.

To his surprise, Bumblebee nodded. [Good. If that is true… you have my…] he cringed. [blessing.] Shockwave's optic widened in surprise, taken aback by the mech's words. But before he could question them, the Scout turned on his heals to return to his commander. [Even if you're fighting for the wrong side!] He called back over his shoulder before transforming to leave.

"See you later Bumblebee!" Scourge shouted her farewell as they left, leaving a cloud of dust in their wake. He looked down at her as she waved, concluding to himself that he would never understand what happened while she was away and that he didn't really want to ever know. All he wanted was to take her home… and to keep her there with him.

* * *

**So, I'm thinking about doing a one-shot with Soundwave and Scourge. You know, that whole part about him being in debt to her? Yeah, I might do a spin off with that :)**

**Leave a Review please! (if your not too mad at me for not updating... :( I am so sorry!) **


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay ladies and gents! This is the last chapter!... besides the Epilogue of course ;) Thanks for all the support and reviews, you all are my inspiration :)**

* * *

Megatron roamed the halls in a bored temperament. He had been informed by Soundwave that the femme had been found and that Shockwave was returning with her, but other than that there was really nothing to be concerned or thought about. Starscream had been appropriately dealt with already, and Soundwave seemed to have the ship's regular functions under control. The most that was on his mind at the moment was what to do with his spare time.

He had considered going over some strategic planning, but the idea didn't spark the flare it usually did. Lately, his mind had been focused on something that was troubling him. The Predacon. When it discovered that it was the Decepticons who had set up the destruction of his kind he had reacted with a fit of violence, but had otherwise been calm since then. Of course that was a good thing, that was not what was bothering him. No, what truly kept him up at night was what would happen when he realized that they had also kept a second secret from him. It was something that Shockwave was ordered to purge from his memory banks shortly after the destruction of the Predacon embryos. It was a dangerous secret. If word spread to the Predacon… he didn't want to know how he would react.

The question he kept pondering was: should he just tell the Predacon of the-

His train of thought was interrupted as Shockwave rounded the corner, in his arms the grey bundle that was Scourge blushed in embarrassment when they passed him. "Shockwave-" he started to reprimand him for not acknowledging his presence, but was quickly cut off.

"Good evening lord Megatron." The Science officer spat out as he continued past, seemingly without a care for the consequences. Megatron looked after him, befuddled to his strange behavior, but shook his helm with a small knowing smirk.

"Femmes…they make you do strange things." Making a mental reminder to reprimand his first lieutenant for his behavior later, he quickened his pace back to his quarters for the night.

* * *

Starscream groaned. His fingers wrapped gently around his elbow in pain as he limped down the medical ward for a checkup on his injuries from his recent "freak-accident". Megatron had been particularly brutal to him this time around, punishing him for trying to take matters into his own hands. Berating him for abusing a femme and putting her in danger. Swearing that if he was ever found in a room near her ever again that his spike would be torn off and shoved down his own throat before he was tossed to the mercy of the Predacon. In any case, he decided that it was best to stay away from that walking catastrophe of a femme. She wasn't worth the effort he had put into breaking her. It seemed that no matter what he did, Shockwave was able to build her up again. It made no sense to him. How could a femme love a mech without emotion over someone who had been actually interested in her at first? He really had been. But his interest had been disregarded, hurting him and turning him violent against her. He had thought that maybe that way she would submit to him, but she still hadn't. She merely ran from him to the arms of his adversary.

Glaring at a passing Vehicon, he tried to forget all the pain that femme he caused him-no, what _he_ had done to cause this pain to himself. But the thoughts just kept coming. His first mistake was ever taking interest in her in the first place. His second was perusing her when it was obvious that she had no interest in him. And his last was ever assuming that he could own her, break her, and bend her to his will. He had been a fool. An idiot. All the things he had accused her of ever being were only true about himself. _He_ was the glitch. _He_ was the idiot. _He_ was the one that no Cybertronian would ever want. _He_ was useless… _A pathetic use of a life…_ He sighed, his chest rising and falling heavily and painfully, but for a reason unrelated to his physical injuries. He was sunken into a state of depression. If this was what it felt like to Scourge every day he could understand why she resorted to cutting herself. It was awful! "Karma's a glitch…" he growled, sending another glare to a passing foot-soldier that looked at him queerly.

Finally entering the elevator wing, he felt relieved to almost be to the medical ward. The sooner he got the visit over with the sooner he could recharge in lonely-pitiful-peace.

But his spark stopped in his chest as the figure of Shockwave exited the elevator, with Scourge. His energon ran cold as the two of them came in his direction, and his optics darted for a way to escape crossing paths with them. Finally, he chanced a glance at the garbage chute to his right. He cringed at the long fall it would be, but after a second glance at the femme in Shockwave's arms he decided it would be more painful to lose his mech-hood.

* * *

When Starscream threw himself into the garbage chute Scourge cried out in shock. Her optics widened as they passed the panel in the wall, hearing the Seeker's strangled cry as he fell three decks down. She heard him land with a distinguishable crash, and even though he had tormented her for stellar-cycles, it made her cringe. _Why would he do that?_

Shockwave's arms tightened around her as she craned her head to look where the Seeker disappeared, but he wouldn't stop to let her look. He hadn't said a word to her since they left Predaking's kennel, and he seemed determined to get her to his berthroom in record time.

She blushed at the inappropriate thought. As much as she would love for Shockwave to sweep her off her feet and have his way with her in the privacy of his quarters, that idea simply wasn't realistic. In fact, she was sure that 'having his way with her' would most likely involve a surgical table and a notepad for doing research on her illogically influenced processor. He would probably hope to figure her out that way…

The thought made her shiver, and she decided never to give him that idea _ever_. "Shockwave, you can put me down. My legs are fully functional." She pointed out, but as before he said nothing in response. He glanced down at her, his optic dim with a burdened appearance. It was something she had rarely seen on him, but she had seen it too often. He was worried. "Shockwave… I'm fine." She insisted, griping his shoulder firmly. "Really."

Her words were either ignored, or he just couldn't answer. She simply waited patiently as he opened the doors to his quarters and took her inside, locking them in. The room lights turned up to a dim glow, just enough for everything to be seen in his quarters. He didn't brighten the room any further.

Approaching his large berth, he finally set her down. Her fingers instinctively grasped at the sheets underneath her as she waited for him to finally lay into her with his usual speech. She needed to be more careful. She shouldn't have left in such an emotional state. He was sorry that he upset her. She was prepared for all of this, but what she received was anything but.

Shockwave knelt down in front of her, and there was energon leaking from his dim red optic. His strong arms wrapped firmly around her lower back, and he pressed his helm into her stomach wordlessly. He didn't make a sound, but his shoulders shook. His whole frame was shaking! Scourge looked down at him, stunned. Finally when she could move again, her servos gripped his shoulders to stop them from moving. "Shockwave!" her panic was not hidden well at all. "Are you-are you okay?" cradling him close to her, she tried to calm herself enough to hear his words. He never acted this way.

"No. I am not." He shuddered, but his voice was as steady as ever. She felt his servos caress her backstruts lightly as he breathed in again. "I am hurting, Scourge…" he exhaled shakily. "And I do not understand why. I was… upset when I found you missing. I felt… monstrous. I only wished to find you and bring you back. But now that I have…" he trailed off, pulling away to look up at her. "I should feel relief. Shouldn't I? I should be overjoyed. But all I feel is.. pain. I-I cannot describe it."

For some reason, his confession made some sense for once. But it seemed to her that he didn't really know what he was feeling. "Pain? Are you sure that is what it is? There are other things that feel like pain." She offered, trying to figure out exactly what it was that he was feeling. She figured it out once, she knew she could do it again.

"What else could it be?" he asked, his gaze imploring.

"Well…" she trailed off in thought for a moment, and in that time she stroked the side of his mask in a comforting manner. "Worry. Being overwhelmed. Fear. Regret. Guilt… especially those last two." She hoped that some of what she was saying was making sense to him. It seemed like they spoke two different languages all the time, but with her mental breakthrough earlier she felt like she just broke the language barrier. He loved differently than she did. He showed it differently. He had been patient with her long enough for her to figure it out. Now it was her chance to return the favor.

He looked down to the floor, his optic off-lining temporarily before he looked back up at her. "I suppose.. it must be a combination of things. I was worried for your safety. I was afraid of what would happen to you if I never found you (afraid of what I would do if I found that you had moved on to another mech)-" Scourge gasped, her spark thrumming in pain at the thought. "I was also regretful about our last encounter, and felt overwhelming guilt that it was I who drove you away. You could have been harmed because of my actions. My responses." His larger servos came up to take hers away from his face. "I do not deserve you. All I do is cause you harm, whether intentional or not… I'm afraid you're brother was right about me. I am not the mech you deserve."

Scourge flexed her servo in his, agitated. "No. He was not right about you. And you shouldn't think that way about yourself." She slid off from the berth to the floor, straddling his knees to be at his level. "Sure, we have issues that need to be worked through, but I know that we can do it! And after all that… just imagine what it would be like. To have someone always be there for you, no matter what. To be able to understand each other completely instead of all the guesswork. Shockwave…" she smiled softly at him, and she could swear that his optic brightened just a little. "I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I know that, even though I have a hard time seeing it at times, you care about me. And I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize it."

Shockwave shook his helm, his gaze lowering from hers. "I just.. I do not understand. Why do you continue to give me chances to redeem myself? I have made you cry, shout, become violent in nature to yourself and others.. and yet you still want me near you? Why?" With each word he spoke Scourge felt her spark skip with enlightenment. For once, she knew exactly what to say.

Cupping his face between her servos, she made sure that he wouldn't look away and that she had his full attention. "Because… Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…" She trailed off, her cheeks flushed. "I guess that I'll have to work on some of that, but that verse just about sums it up. I love you. That's why I want you, and no one else."

Shockwave continued in his silence, pondering her words. For a moment she thought he might not understand what she meant, but slowly he nodded. "I see… I suppose.. I should take that saying into practice… Because.." he stood up, grasping her forearms to take her up with him. She squeaked as he did, but fell instantly silent when he leaned in close to her, his mask removed. "I want to treat you like you deserve. I want to feel what you do. I need to…" There he stopped, pulling away slightly. "I swear, Scourge, I will do anything that you need me to. No matter what it take, I will become the mech you need me to be."

Scourge shook her head. "Shockwave.. you already are."

Her lips pressed softly against his, and she could feel his frame relax. He pulled her closer to embrace her, surprising her with the firm passion he used. Although he was far from the best kisser, Scourge melted into him and simply tried to forget about everything but him. He was hers. She was his. Nothing would ever change that.

Suddenly, she felt him stiffen and he pulled away. "What about your brother?"

Rolling her optics, she buried herself in his chest with a soft sigh. "He said that he'd approve of you if Bumblebee did right? Well.. I don't think you need to worry about him anymore." Snuggling close to his warmth tiredly, she barely registered when he picked her up to lay her on his berth.

"I love you…" she murmured, but she couldn't make out his reply. The last sensation she had was of him next to her before she fell asleep.

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**Leave a Review and I'll have the Epilogue out soon! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello to my Amazing-Fantastic-Super Awesomely Awesome-Readers! :) You are all so good to me. Thank you all for the reviews and all the support. You make writing fun :) **

**This is the end of this book, but not the story! Next up is "The perfect gift...sorta", a oneshot that will be posted right after I finish posting this chapter! **

**Now! Onto the Epilogue! :)**

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Predaking snorted in irritation, steam billowing from his nostrils as he stalked closer to the mouth of the cave. After he returned to the Nemesis with his creators in tow he had let them leave to reconcile between themselves. He was relieved to find that Scourge was okay, but now that she was safe he had things he wanted to take care of. A few loose ends to tie up. Namely the ultimate destruction of a certain Seeker. But, as fate would have it, he was summoned away from the Nemesis by Lord Megatron himself to meet him at this dingy cave.

It didn't look like much from the outside. As he surveyed it he noted that he would only barely fit inside the mouth of the cave, but it seemed plenty big enough for him to walk comfortably farther in. As he started his venture inside he briefly wondered why Megatron would summon him without Shockwave. It didn't seem like the Autobots were here at the sight. There were no signs of a fight or struggle. But as he moved further down the long caverns he started to see energon power lines, and generators. There was some sort of project going on.

"Ah, Predaking, so glad you could finally join us…" Megatron greeted him from a ways away, at his side was Soundwave (looking as emotionless as ever). He nodded to them both as way of greeting in return, and cocked his helm curiously at his Leader.

::_Why have you summoned me?_:: He asked openly, not afraid of the two tiny mechs. He was no fool. Soundwave was there probably as backup in case something went down. The idea in itself put him on edge, and he growled quietly.

Seeing his obvious irritation, Megatron took a few steps back. "Be calm Predaking, we mean you no harm." He assured, glancing between Soundwave and the passageway behind them. He looked nervous. (Predaking mentally laughed at the sight). "I have brought you here to _wipe clean the slate_ so to speak. I know that we have kept things from you and manipulated you in the past-" his growl deepened and he snarled. "-_but!_- I think it is time that we trusted you. And to prove that trust, I have something to give to you."

::_What could you possibly give to me that would prove that you trust me?_:: his claws scratched ditches into the floor as he looked down on them.

"A companion."

He was shocked into silence, his spark even stilling for a moment. A companion? How was that possible? ::_All Predacons were destroyed when the Autobots destroyed Shockwave's laboratory._:: he objected, watching as Megatron looked somewhat regretful.

The large silver mech shook his helm. "Not all of them." He nodded to Soundwave, who then turned to lead the way farther into the maze of caverns. "We didn't keep all the Predacons in one place." He continued, following his third in command, and Predaking kept up with them easily. "One of them was special. Shockwave discovered so early on in the incubation stage and had it moved to another facility. We could not risk the Autobots finding it along with the others, it would spell disaster to us all. So we brought it here. After the others were destroyed I ordered Shockwave to purge this information from his memory banks, so he doesn't remember any of this. The only ones who know now are you, me, and Soundwave. And that is how it will stay until the time comes for the Predacon to be brought out of incubation-stasis."

::What _makes this Predacon so special that you keep him hidden from his creator?_:: he couldn't believe that Megatron would not trust Shockwave after all that he had done for him, but he was too curious to be truly angry about it.

Megatron glanced back at him from over his shoulder, a mischievous gleam creeping into his optics. "It is special because _she_ is the only femme of your kind in existence."

Predaking fell silent once again, and he felt his body grow numb, but at the same time his spark-rate quickened. _She? There is a female of my species? But, that would mean… Our species could continue without the aid of a laboratory._ Suddenly all the caution didn't seem so stupid.

As he came upon the cavern that housed the only remaining member of his species, he was met with yet another surprise. She. Was. _Huge_. Still in her incubation chamber, she was almost three heads taller than him, and judging by the look of the huge tank she was in she was still growing. And also, she was the exact same breed.

Moving around the tank, he inspected her with great interest. Her developing armor was a pale shade of blue, with highlights of purple and white. Her folded wings were twice the size of her body, indicating that she was built to rule the skies. She was perfect. Beautiful. Strong. ::_She is magnificent._::

Megatron smirked, giving him a sly sideways glance. "Indeed."

::_Does she have a name?_:: he placed a paw on the large chamber near her sleeping form, and she shied away from the motion. But he was not discouraged. He followed her movements curiously, wondering what she was dreaming about.

"We were thinking that you could name her."

Predaking spared only a glance in his direction before turning back to the female contained within the glass. If he was going to name her he wanted it to be perfect. Something strong. Regal. Powerful. Something that reflected who she would be…

::_Her name will be _Empress_._:: _For she will be like a queen, and I will be her loyal servant._

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**Huh? Huh? What do you think? I think Predaking is going to be seriously crushing on this femme ;)**

**Leave a Review please and have an awesome week! :)**


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